It hit me in the shower while piping hot water ran down my aching back and tears streamed down my face. I was bone tired and fearful that I’d never feel normal again. Everything was different, and even though I knew it was coming, it was still a slap in the face. I craved normalcy, but every day was a crap shoot. Moving, I realized, was a lot like new motherhood. Here’s why:
1. My body is wounded. Everything hurts.
2. I haven’t slept well in weeks.
3. I forget to shower.
4. I cry at the drop of a hat.
5. I’m desperate for routine!
6. I long for adult conversation!
7. I’m an emotional mess. I alternate between “This is amazing! I’m blessed!” and “Why the fuck did we do this! This is fucking crazy!”
8. I’ve been wearing same shirt for three days because it’s the only one that fits I’ve unpacked.
9. I want to take off the baby moving weight, but I’m too exhausted to cook healthy meals and the Chinese delivery is fast and delicious.
10. My clothes and shoes furniture and décor don’t fit like they did before.
11. I haven’t watched a single episode of the new season of Orange Is The New Black.
12. I’ll probably never read a book again.
13. I have no idea what’s happening in the world, except that Jen and Ben are getting a divorce, and I can’t help but wonder if parenthood moving had something to do with it.
14. I’m too worn-out to talk on the phone or respond to emails.
15. I’ve forgotten several birthdays, including my sister’s.
16. I need to make mommy friends.
17. The simple act of getting an eyebrow wax made me feel human again.
18. The house is a flipping mess.
19. I never sit down.
20. The following thoughts run through my mind daily hourly: I love my new life. I miss my old life. Who am I? I can do this! I CANNOT do this. I can’t catch my breath. I need to do yoga. I’m too tired to do yoga. I wish I had a babysitter.