Category Archives: going to the doctor

Pins and Needles

I have a question.  Am I the only person on the planet who develops weird physical symptoms, or am I the only person on the planet who actually calls the doctor when the symptoms surface?  I think I know the answer.  (Remember when I requested a colonoscopy a few months ago?)  My medical team is starting to look like a basketball team.   Currently, it includes a primary care physician, gynecologist, dermatologist, hematologist, gastroenterologist, and now, a neurologist.

About a month ago, I began feeling numbness and tingling on my left shin and foot.  What I did next probably won’t surprise you.  I googled “tingling in leg and foot.”  Within ten minutes, I diagnosed myself with multiple sclerosis.  What I did after that will be even less surprising.  I called my doctor.  Since then, I’ve had blood work, a vitamin B12 injection, a vein ultrasound, and this morning, I underwent an electromyogram (EMG) and nerve conduction study, which measures the electrical activity of muscles and nerves.

Over the years, I’ve endured some uncomfortable medical procedures, like wisdom teeth extraction, spinal anesthesia and c-section, chemotherapy, the disgusting crap you have to drink before a CAT Scan and colonoscopy, hernia surgery, and, last fall, a root canal.  Now I can add EMG and nerve conduction study to this unpleasant list.

This is what my neurologist (a very nice man, by the way) told me before he started:  “You’re not going to feel pain, but it’s going to be uncomfortable.”  What happened next should be illegal.  He shocked my right leg in half a dozen spots from my knee to my ankle.  There was just enough time in between each jolt to anticipate (and break into a cold sweat) about the next one.  And when he was finished with the right leg, he started all over again on the left one!  If I knew national secrets, I would have spilled the beans after the first one.  Now I can add being tased to the list of things I fear, including power outages (I live in South Florida), deep ocean water and bees.

When he finished electrocuting me, he started poking my legs with a long needle.  Over and over again.  Each time he stuck me, he made me contract and relax the muscle.  And when he was done with the front of my legs, he made me roll over on my belly to do the same thing on the back.  When it was all over, I had small bleeding holes all over my legs.  I felt like a victim in an episode of “Fringe.”  I’ll never be the same again.

The test torture lasted less than twenty minutes, and I was safely home within an hour (shaking like a leaf in a corner with new symptoms…probably a result of PTSD).  I’ll get the results on Monday.  Until then, I’m on pins and needles.

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Filed under colonoscopy, going to the doctor, health

One Hell Of A Soup

In college, my senior dance performance was called “Soup for Ten.”  Ten unique choreography students, including me, contributed dances to the show.  The idea was that ten different ingredients would make one hell of a soup.  (They did.)

The last four days of motherhood made an interesting recipe, too.  Here were the ingredients:

One pillow fight – There’s something cozy about my boys cuddling up in my bed, watching their favorite shows, hiding under the sheets and hitting each other with pillows.  It reminds me of playing with my sister when I was a little girl.

One Passover Seder – I’ve questioned religion for many years, but on Friday night, at a Seder with family and close friends, I was reminded of what I love so much about Judaism – ritual, tradition, and chopped liver (but not gefilte fish).

One oops – When the candles were lit, instead of reciting the blessing for Shabbat (Baruch atah Adonai…”), Dylan sang “Happy birthday to you…”

One croupy kid – After just seven hours of post-Seder sleep, Riley woke with the sweet sound of a barking seal.  We spent the morning at the pediatrician’s office hoping for a negative strep test and a clear chest.  We got lucky, but the little munchkin was down for the count.

One bedroom makeover – Anxiety leads me to do one of three things (or all of them): shop, clean and/or decorate.  On Saturday, I set my sights on the boys’ bedroom.  I rearranged their furniture, hung new alphabet and chalkboard wall decals, and reorganized their toys and books.  When I was done, Dylan said, “Mommy, this room is so awesome.”

Two brothers – The unexpected consequence of the makeover was that the boys decided to sleep in the same bed, or more accurately, Dylan decided he needed to sleep in the same bed with Riley just like Mommy and Daddy.

I didn’t approve of this sleeping arrangement because (1) Riley was sick and (2) I knew there would be no sleeping, but I gave in.  (Did I really have a choice?)   I was right.  There was no sleeping, but their brotherly love, especially Riley’s adoration of his older brother’s big idea, was beyond adorable.  Not unexpectedly, by the end of the night, I had a croupy bedmate.

A heaping spoonful of charm – My sister-in-law once gave Mike and I a framed picture of us kissing (rated-PG) in our dining room.  During the makeover on Saturday, Dylan asked me to place the picture right next to his lamp so he could see it and “have sweet dreams about Mommy and Daddy all night long.”

One dance party – What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think about Easter?  Breakdancing?  I thought so.  Thirty-six hours after the Passover Seder, we prepped for Easter brunch at my sister-in-law’s house.  The highlight, besides a yummy spinach frittata, was Dylan and Riley’s dance party complete with You Tube music videos by Alvin and the Chipmunks.  As a Mama of boys and a former dancer, I sometimes feel a wave of disappointment that I don’t have a little girl to take to ballet classes, but it turns out I have a breaker on my hands, and I couldn’t be more pleased.

One bout of emotional shopping – On Monday morning, with two sick kids on my hands, I did what any desperate and exhausted Mama would do:  I went to The Container Store (and boy did it feel good).  Armed with new supplies, I cleaned out the laundry room and reorganized the boys’ closet.

A pinch of happy tears – I knew bedtime would be rough last night (the boys took late afternoon naps), but by 10:30 p.m., I was desperate and ready to cry (or give in and let the boys come to my bed).  As I was about to sing ONE MORE SONG, Dylan said, “Mommy, thank you for moving our beds close together and for moving the furniture around and for hanging letters on our wall and for the chalkboards and for doing all of this cool stuff to our room.  Thank you for everything.  I love you so much.”  And then I really did cry.  “Mommy, why are you crying?  Are you sad?”  I said, “No, Dylan, I’m really happy.  Sometimes people cry when they’re happy.  I’m crying happy tears because what you just said to me was so thoughtful and kind.  I love you, too.”

Yup, motherhood makes one hell of a soup.

Speaking of soup, yesterday evening, I made white bean and kale soup because a Mama can only be coughed and sneezed on so many times before she feels like crap, too.  Here’s the recipe.  It has less than ten ingredients, but it makes – you guessed it – one hell of a soup.

Ingredients

1-2 TBSP olive oil

4 garlic cloves, chopped

1 small onion, chopped

3 cups of chicken or vegetable stock

2 15 oz. cans of cannellini beans

4 cups of kale, stems removed and coarsely chopped

salt and pepper to taste

Directions

Heat olive oil at medium-high in a soup pot

Sautee garlic and onions until garlic is fragrant and onions are translucent

Add stock and beans, stir and let come to a boil

When soup boils, mash beans with a potato masher or similar kitchen utensil

Add kale and stir

Simmer for about ten minutes

Add salt and pepper to taste

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Filed under bedtime, dancing, Easter, going to the doctor, Judaism, motherhood, shopping