It was a big week, my friends. Not only was it the first full week of shopaholic rehab, but I also had my first ever colonoscopy. Good times [insert sarcasm].
I’ll start with rehab. Here is a summary of the week in dollars.
·Monday: I bought nothing extra at Target (but I really, really wanted to), and I used a coupon!
·Tuesday: $15 co-pay for Dylan at the pediatrician. (Poor little guy has croup and had to stay home from camp until Friday. He’s feeling better now.) Also, I used another coupon at Whole Foods, where I spent a meager $75.06.
·Wednesday: Back to Publix. No shopaholic moments, unless you count the abnormally large quantity of cheese sticks I bought. It’s a popular snack in my house.
·Thursday: Got haircuts for the boys in the morning (a legitimate purchase and they look adorable). Then I went back to Publix for apple juice and ginger ale (for my pre-colonoscopy liquid diet). After that I spent NO money. I spent the rest of the day in the bathroom.
·Friday: The only thing I bought was a colonoscopy. It cost $43.90. The happy drugs they put in my IV before they put me to sleep were priceless.
And now the colonoscopy.
Everything was fine with the actual procedure except for the two and a half long hours I had to wait before going in. The place was like a colonoscopy factory and the line was long.
There was good and bad news with the results. My doctor found no cancer, but he did find and remove a polyp. Colon cancer runs in my family, but I am only 34 years old and I already have a polyp. Now, instead of waiting 15 years to do this all over again, it will be five. Five years is a long time, but it is sobering news, especially since the prep was dreadful.
Speaking of which, drinking the cleanse solution was excruciating. Half way through it and after I started vomiting, I told my mother-in law, who stayed with me for moral support (my husband couldn’t leave work), that I’d rather have another c-section than ever do this again. There will never be enough time that passes for me to forget how it appalling it was to drink that crap.
On Thursday morning, I told Dylan that he and his brother were going out with Grandpa and Aunt Heather for the afternoon because I had to take medicine that was going to make me not feel good and poop a lot. Trust me, this is language he truly understands. I got a little teary when I told him because I was truly dreading the experience, and do you know what he said to me? He said, “There’s nothing to be afraid of, Mommy.” This is exactly what I would have said to him if the roles were reversed, and I loved him to pieces for saying it to me.
On a lighter note, the silver lining of the whole experience had to be the five pounds I lost during the cleanse. If I weren’t so cranky, hungry, thirsty and wanting to stay within five feet of the bathroom, today would have been a great day to put on a bikini and go to the beach. I haven’t been this skinny since my wedding day.
What did I learn this week?
·I’m happier when I spend less money.
·It doesn’t matter how much broccoli and spinach I eat, some things, like polyps, are out of my control.
·My kids saved me this week. I give them all of the love and care I can muster, and they truly do the same for me.
What’s next for this mama? First, Chinese food for dinner. I haven’t eaten anything since Wednesday afternoon. Next, more shopaholic rehab – three weeks to go! Then, a much needed family vacation. We’re off to Hammock Beach with the grandparents for a week. We could all use the break. Wait, what break!? I’m going away with two kids under the age of four! You’ll hear from me again soon as I attempt to pack everything in the house and fit it all in the back of our car.
The Runaway Mama by Jen Gregory 