Help Wanted

The Runaway Mama seeks a friendly, charismatic and driven intern to assist with her son’s five-year wellness check-up where anywhere from four to 4,000 vaccinations will be administered.

  • Candidate must have a warm smile and friendly demeanor and must be strong enough to hold down a 38-pound child.
  • Candidate must have extensive knowledge of the Disney/Pixar “Cars” franchise, including “Cars,” “Cars 2,” “Mater’s Tall Tales,” and “Cars 2” for the Xbox in order to successfully entertain, amuse and distract the child pre- and post-vaccination.
  • Candidate must have a valid driver’s license (in case the Runaway Mama decides to bring a coffee thermos filled with Pino Grigio to the appointment).
  • Candidate must be over the age of 21 (in case the Runaway Mama needs to make a wine run before or after the shots).
  • Candidate must have a valid highschool diploma, GED or equivalent, but anyone with a proven track record of success with helping children survive the five-year wellness check-up will be considered.
  • Knowledge of and/or experience with hypnosis is preferred.
  • Knowledge of and/or experience with teleportation is a plus.
  • Successful candidate will be considered for future medical and/or dental visits.

Those who have not outrun a swarm of bees, fought off a grizzly bear, or lifted a burning car with their bare hands need not apply.  Otherwise, the Runaway Mama is an equal opportunity employer.  Submit cover letter, resume and references directly to the Runaway Mama.  Position is open through December 11, 2011.

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Filed under dentist, going to the doctor, wine

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