Toddlers don’t make a whole lot of sense.

This is a conversation I had with Riley a few days ago in the garage while I desperately attempted to get him buckled in his car seat so I could drive him and his brother to school on time.  Our preschool has a twenty-minute drop-off window in the morning.  They are smart people who know what’s happening in garages all over town each morning.

Me: Riley, get in the car.

Riley: No.

Me: Riley we’re going to be late for school.

Riley: But I have to tell you something.

Me: Tell me in the car.

Riley: No.

Me: Fine.  I’ll buckle Dylan and then you’re next.

Me (after getting Dylan situated, five-year-olds are easier to get in the car than three-year-olds are…most of the time): Are you ready to get in the car?

Riley: Not yet.

Me: Riley!  We’re going to be late.  Come on.

Riley: But I have to tell you something.

Me: Fine.  Tell me.

Riley: Well… (long pause)

Me: Riley, if you get in the car now, I’ll let you have milk in the car.

Riley: Not yet.

Me:  Okay.  Do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?

Riley (with a big, mischievous smile):  The hard way.

Editor’s Note: The hard way would’ve required me to physically move Riley from the spot where his squishy legs were firmly planted to the floor to the car seat where I would’ve had to (1) wrestle his tushie into the actual car seat, (2) hold him down with brute force and (3) employ ninja techniques to secure the five point harness without losing ground.   With both of my hands busy doing “hard way” things, my body, and in particular my head, would’ve been vulnerable to toddler attack, and I would most likely have gotten slapped in the face by a rogue squishy hand somewhere along the way.  The Runaway Mama doesn’t like having to do things the hard way.

Me: Riley, I’m counting to five.  One.  Two.  Three.

Riley: Well… (long pause)

Me:  Four.

Riley: Well… (long pause)

Me (in a sweat): Five.  Okay, now you’re making me do this the hard way.

Riley:  No!  Wait!  I have to tell you something!

Me: WHAT?!

Riley: The truck stops at the short cut.

Me:  The truck stops at the short cut.  That’s what you wanted to tell me?

Riley: Yes.

Me: Thank you for telling me.  Now get your butt in the car.

Riley: Okay.

See, toddlers don’t make a whole lot of sense.

1 Comment

Filed under conversations to remember, toddlers

One response to “WHAT?!

  1. I think he is picking up tips from his best friend and mischievious mentor, Sage Hudson Stanley. I also think that late at night, when we think they are sleeping, they are also concocting plans for parental domination. Sage is winning in our house…..we have watched Mickey's Christmas Carol more times than we can count!!


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