Seven Signs Our House is Becoming a Home

Slowly but surely, we’re getting unpacked. Boxes still litter every room, the boys’ rooms need to be painted, our playroom/den reminds me of poop (the color, not the smell), there’s no TV in the kitchen (the horror!), and I have no bedroom furniture except for a bed and bedside table, but we’re making progress. Here are seven signs that our new house is finally starting to feel like home:

1. Fresh flowers. Fresh flowers on the kitchen table are evidence that (1) I have a kitchen table, (2) I’ve unpacked a vase, and (3) I’ve been to a grocery store that sells flowers, which means I’ve begun cooking instead of having food delivered every night.

2. Roasted Brussels sprouts. It’s a true story that I’ve started cooking. Once Brussels sprouts have been roasted, order returns to the universe.

3. Artwork on the walls. Almost! Hanging a picture on the wall suggests permanence in either wall color or furniture placement (or both). As soon as Mike finds his level, which is buried somewhere deep in the garage, this sucker is going up.

4. Owls. An owl sighting means I’ve transitioned from opening boxes with items that meet immediate essential needs, such as bed sheets, Dylan’s Homer Simpson slippers, and wine glasses, to boxes that contain less vital but still indispensable items, including but not limited to chip clips and owls.

5. Riley’s artwork. Glue sticks, pipe cleaners, stickers, markers, and popsicle sticks are within reach (and every Sharpie we own has been hidden), which means Riley has resumed his art regime. This (phallic) masterpiece is a dinosaur. Obviously.

6. Camp arts & crap crafts projects. I’m no longer obsessed with whether or not I left my cookie sheets and cooling racks in the oven drawer in the house in Florida, but rather with how to make these arts & crap crafts projects made at camp disappear in the night.

7. Effing Legos. Same mess, different zip code.

How did you know your new house was becoming a home?