Category Archives: birthday

Miracles And Other Miscellaneous Things

It’s been a while since I’ve written and I have so much to say, so here’s a little bit about a lot of different things.

I spent spring break with my boys and all I got was… Well, nothing really.  But Riley coughed on me a lot so I imagine I’ll catch something by Thursday.
I’m proud of myself because… I discovered a way to put both boys to sleep.  At the same time.  In the middle of the day.  Without coercion or drugs.  If I keep them in the bike trailer long enough, they fall into a blissful nap.  The exercise is great, but the quiet time outside is priceless.
I love it when… Riley says “yes.”  His version is “esh.”  We can suddenly communicate about anything.  What he wants for lunch.  Which shirt he wants to wear.  Whether he wants to watch Dora or Diego.  What he thinks about 2012 presidential candidates.  It’s awesome.
I’m sick of hearing… “Stay home.”  Dylan has developed a habit of trying to stop everyone – and I mean everyone – from leaving by whining “stay home, stay home, stay home.”   He does it to me any chance he gets, and he does it to Mike every morning as he leaves for work.  He does it to strangers in the grocery store and waiters at restaurants.   He even did it to our exterminator last week!  Now Riley says it because Dylan says it, and Dylan says it like Riley says it (“nae hoe”) and I don’t know what to say about any of it, except…
The theme of this spring break was… Regression. Last year’s theme was potty training.  I think that was worse, but sibling rivalry is messy, too.  Let’s see, over the last nine days, we’ve had baby talk, pee accidents, running off in parking lots, talking to strangers, talking back, whining, pouting, arm crossing and lots of crying.  I’m referring to Dylan here, the boy who doesn’t want to grow up.  It’s been a tough week to put it mildly, and I don’t mean to leave Riley out.  He presents his own set of challenges, like refusing to nap and demanding finger painting at 5:30am.
A few bright spots of the week were… (1) Riley started sleeping past 5am when we changed the clocks.  [UPDATE:  Since initially writing this, Riley has gone back to his early bird ways.  We’ve been up at 5:30 every day since last Friday.] (2) Dylan put his empty plate on the kitchen counter yesterday after eating lunch.  He cleaned up after himself without being asked.  I nearly passed out.
The week ended with a bang when…Riley celebrated his second birthday.  I remember so clearly the morning he was born and the day we brought him home from the hospital.  I was drowning in love and fear, and I knew the next two years would be the hardest of my life.  They have been, but I’m humbled by the funny, stubborn, sweet and polite little boy he’s become.  Happy birthday to my little love.
And finally, miracles do happen.  For Riley’s birthday, we gave the kids bikes – a tricycle for Riley and a bike with training wheels for Dylan (to take the edge off the sibling rivalry).  Riley can’t pedal yet, but he rides around like Fred Flintstone on speed, and once Dylan got the hang of it, we couldn’t get him off his bike. On the bike = happy.  Off the bike = pouting, whining and arm crossing.  On = good.  Off = bad.  Like a light switch!  It was amazing, but that wasn’t the miracle.
On Sunday evening, Dylan asked all of us to go on a bike ride together.  (That alone was a small miracle because he asked us so politely.)  We put Fred Flintstone (Riley) in the bike trailer and Dylan, Mike and I rode our bikes around the block.  Two things happened along the way.  First, I realized we’ve become a family with two boys instead of two babies.  I had to catch my breath because suddenly I could feel time passing too quickly.  Second, I caught a glimpse of Dylan, with the wind blowing in his face, loving the independence of riding a bike all by himself alongside his Mommy, Daddy and little brother.  He was free.  I could feel it and I’m pretty sure he could, too.  That was the miracle – that he broke out of his rut and tasted the wonder and joy of growing up, even if it only lasted a few minutes.
As I sit here now, making the last edits to this blog entry, the boys are back at school and I’m in the house all by myself for the first time in nine long days.  That’s a little bit of a miracle, too.

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Happy Birthday To Me

Today is my 35th birthday. Thirty five. 3-5. You can officially round up. Birthdays have never really bothered me, although 30 wasn’t much fun. I’ll write about that at some point. As a general rule, though, I like birthdays, especially when there’s cake and shopping involved. But this one, this 35th one, is bittersweet.

On one hand, I’m 35 years young, and I’m on the cusp of finishing the most physically demanding part of baby-hood. I know I’ll miss it someday, when my smelly adolescent boys want nothing to do with me because I embarrass them in front of their friends, but from where I stand right now it feels pretty good to know I’m closer to the end than the beginning of the baby madness.

On the other hand, I’m 35 years old and I’m done having kids. I’ve reached my capacity with the two lovely ones I have, and even though the idea of having another baby is tempting (a girl, perhaps…with little dresses…and sparkly shoes…and ballet classes), I know it’s not what I really want. This is hard to admit and even harder to write, but it’s the truth. The only reason to visit my OB/GYN now is for an annual exam and a reminder to exercise and take a calcium supplement. This is the bittersweet part. I’m done (yay!), but I’m done (boo!).

I have two healthy kids, a great husband, my skinny jeans fit and, occasionally, I have a babysitter on a Saturday night. Life is good. But I’ve always been more forward looking than nostalgic, so I’m stuck on what’s next. Have I done everything on my bucket list? Hardly. There are more juice boxes in my kitchen than stamps in my passport. But as far as major life events go – school, career, marriage, home ownership and kids – I feel an odd sense of being at the end of a journey I mapped out a long time ago.

I know I have all of my kids’ milestones to look forward to (and for Dylan’s sake, I hope some of his involve fruits and vegetables), but I’m not so selfless that I don’t need a new path for myself. The hard part is figuring out what it is. Will I run a marathon? Write a book? Take a vacation without my kids? One can only hope.

So, 35 is an end and a beginning. It’s bitter and sweet. My boys gave me birthday hugs this morning and Dylan said to me, with a little coaching from Daddy, “Happy Birthday, Mommy. You’re the lady I love most.” I told him I was 35 years old and he said, “Mommy, when you grow up you will be so big you will touch an airplane.” This is definitely the sweet part.

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