Category Archives: boys

Preschool

“Let’s use glitter paint to put your precious handprint on 25 mason jars. We’ll fill them with homemade, organic dried fruit and nut-free granola and wrap them in cellophane and raffia.”

Budget: A mortgage payment

Time frame: A weekend

Kindergarten

“If you write your name on each of these 25 personalized “You Rule!” Valentines I ordered online (with corresponding rulers wrapped in grosgrain ribbon), I’ll give you a cookie and thirty minutes of Paw Patrol on my iPad.”

Budget: $100

Time frame: 2 weeks

1st -4th Grade

“If you’re not going to write your name on these 25 flipping SpongeBob temporary tattoo Valentines ALL BY YOURSELF, then you will have no Valentines. NONE. ZERO. ZILCH!”

Budget: $6 (plus tax)

Time frame: Anywhere between four weeks and an eternity

5^th Grade

“Let’s make 25 Valentines together! I downloaded these cute ‘Wishing you a Pug-Tastic Valentine’s Day’ cards from Etsy. I—I mean, we—can glue them on heart-themed craft paper, and I—I mean, we—can attach these adorable pencils with emoji eraser toppers I bought on the back. And it’s totally okay if you want to play video games while I assemble everything…”

...because my little boy is growing up and he’s going to middle school next year and FOR THE LOVE this is my last shot at doing a Valentine’s Day craft for—I mean, with—my firstborn baby.

Budget: Unlimited

Time frame: However long it takes to hold on to this fleeting ritual of childhood