Category Archives: Grateful Mama

November 7, 2011 · 4:19 pm

Daily Dose of Gratitude

I’ve been thinking a lot about the article I posted on my Runaway Mama Facebook Page called “The Neuroscience of Why Gratitude Makes Us Healthier.” 

On Saturday afternoon, I asked Dylan to bring his lunch plate, which was sitting on the arm of the couch (his preferred dining location), to the kitchen.  He said, “No, I don’t want to do my chores.”  I said, “Dylan, I’m not asking you to vacuum the floors or clean the toilets (although I should).  I’m just asking you to bring one plate to the kitchen.  Don’t you want to earn rewards?”  He said, “I don’t want to earn anything.”  I said, “So, you don’t want new toys?”  He said, “I want new toys and I want them without earning them.  For my birthday, Hanukkah and Christmas you will just give me toys.”

Oh.

In my house, I talk a lot about being healthy and strong.  We eat (or aspire to eat) fruit and vegetables because healthy food makes us healthy and strong.  We go for walks and bike rides because exercise makes us healthy and strong.  We take baths, brush our teeth, and go to the doctor to stay healthy and strong. You get the idea.  Well, I’ve realized there’s something missing from my healthy and strong platform.  Gratitude.

The abovementioned article talks about how gratitude makes people healthier and happier.  One study showed that people who focused on things they were grateful for felt better about their lives as a whole than people who focused on things that were a hassle or displeased them.  Another study found that keeping a daily gratitude journal lead to a greater increase in goodwill toward others.  Yet another study found that depression was correlated to gratitude.  The more grateful a person is, the less depressed they are.

Wow.  It sounds like a daily dose of gratitude is as important as brushing teeth or taking a calcium supplement (which I always forget to do!).  I used to keep a daily gratitude journal.  Interestingly, I fell out of the habit when I became a mother, which is when gratitude became more important than ever before.  I’ve written before about wanting to instill gratitude in my kids, especially when it comes to material consumption. Based on the recent conversation I had with my mini-shopaholic about his master plan to get without giving, I think now is a good time to get back on the horse.   

I’m going to start a new daily gratitude journal.  This time, though, I’m going to make it a family journal and have the boys write about something they’re grateful for each day, too. It will be my own little research study (I was a sociology major in college) to see if I can make giving more important than, or at least equal to, receiving for them.  Dylan will no doubt ask why we’re doing it, and I’ll say, “because gratitude makes us healthy and strong.”

I’ll share the results of my groundbreaking family gratitude research right here, so stay tuned.  In the meantime, my first hypothesis as Sociology Mama is that guilt is a lot easier to achieve than gratitude.  With that in mind, I’ve decided that today is Grateful (instead of Guilty) Mama Monday.   Today, I’m grateful for the happy and proud looks on my boys’ faces when Grandma Barbara and Grandpa Tom visited them at school for Grandparents Day.

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Filed under Grateful Mama, gratitude, Guilty Mama, Sociology Mama

September 8, 2011 · 12:42 am

Dream Catcher

Last night, I dreamed that Riley’s front teeth died in his mouth. Mine died, too, and not only were they dead, but also they were brown and smelled rotten. The night before, I dreamed the world was going to end after I gave Dylan lunch.  Under the circumstances, I gave him his favorite snack instead of forcing him to try new food.  Amazingly, he asked for carrot sticks.  Then I was forced to leave my sweet boy nibbling on carrots and wait for the planet to explode.  Do I need a dream catcher or what?

I learned from the Internet this morning that dreaming about teeth, and especially about teeth falling out, is sign offear and anxiety.  I didn’t bother researching “death and destruction in dreams” because I’m pretty sure it means something bad,too.  Interestingly, dreaming about carrots has something to do with fertility and having abundant “hardy” offspring.

I am freaked out about the real-life fate of Riley’s front teeth (we go back to the dentist next week), but I’m pretty sure these nightmares also have something to do with the anxiety I feel in the pit of my stomach around this time every year.  This Sunday is the tenth anniversary of September 11th.  Mike and I were in New York City on that day – newly engaged, living in Brooklyn, working downtown and making the most of our twenties.  I wrote a blog entry about it last September, but I never published it. Coincidentally, it was inspired by a visit to the dentist of all places.  Here’s an excerpt:

I went to the dentist on Monday morning to have my teeth cleaned.  As the hygienist lowered me down to a reclining position, my eyes became fixed on a framed poster on the wall of the World Trade Center towers.  I wondered if they knew the picture was hanging there.  I wondered if it was a mistake or a tribute.  I wondered how many people sat in this chair and stared at it while their teeth were scraped.  I wondered if they felt as sad as I did when I looked at it.

I read an article in the New York Times about a month ago about people who suffer from PTSD as a result of their experiences that day.  It’s mind-blowing how the psychological consequences of that day have turned thousands of people’s lives upside down.  I don’t have PTSD, but the truth is that I can’t look at images of September 11th (or think about it or talk about it or hear other people talk about it or read about it or watch TV shows about it) without tearing up. The emotions of that day sit in the back of my throat and feel as raw now as they did on that perfectly warm and sunny day ten years ago.

Honoring September 11th has always been difficult.  Ten years and a whole lot of life changes later, I’ll mark the day at a 5th birthday party.  Considering my current state of anxiety – when I’m awake and asleep – going to a birthday party seems like a pretty good idea and a great distraction.  I hope I’ll have a better time controlling my emotions when the boys start asking questions about September 11th in the years ahead.  In the meantime, I’m going to make the most of our Sunday plans and be a Grateful Mama for the boys’ precious, small worlds.


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Filed under bad dreams, Grateful Mama, September 11th