Category Archives: math

February 22, 2012 · 4:08 pm

Word Problems

It’s good to exercise your brain, especially if you’re a Mama and extra especially if you’re a Mama in the middle of potty training.  In the name of brain boot camp, here are some new Runaway Mama word problems.

1. If Dylan is five and Riley is (almost) three, how many more years does the Runaway Mama have to live with the threat of bodily harm from lightsaber attack?

(Answer: Based on the Runaway Mama’s husband’s affinity for lightsabers at age 38, the threat is indefinite.)

2. If “Cars” was released in 2006 and “Cars 2” was released 5 years later in 2011, in what year will “Cars 1,000,000” be released? (Oh, and Mr. Lucas, when will “Star Wars 7” be in theaters?)

(Answer:  The Runaway Mama has no f—king clue.  If anyone out there actually figures out the correct answer to this word problem, the Runaway Mama will reward you with a Disney Cruise.*)

3. If the Runaway Mama brings home two packages of “Cars” squinkies, and each package contains 12 squinkies, and within one hour of bringing them home they are all missing, how much money did the Runaway Mama waste at the toystore?

(Answer: $9.99 x 2 + tax.)

4. If Dylan catches a cold, gets better, and re-catches the same cold, and if Dylan then gives the cold to Riley, which includes pinkeye, and if Riley then gives the cold to the Runaway Mama, which thankfully doesn’t include pinkeye but does include a nasty post-nasal drip when she’s trying to sleep and requires an insane amount of nighttime cold medicine, which makes her very groggy and cranky in the morning, and then as soon as the Runaway Mama starts to feel better Dylan starts sneezing again, how many colds have passed through the house?

(Answer: Five.  Winter with preschoolers – even in Florida – is a bitch.)

*Disclaimer: The Runaway Mama likes to make stuff up.  If I were you, I wouldn’t believe anything she says.

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Filed under Cars, math, toys

January 9, 2012 · 2:38 pm

Word Problems

If you ask Dylan what he likes better – letters or numbers – he’ll say numbers. In honor of Dylan’s blossoming love of math, here are some Runaway Mama word problems.

If Dylan has two race tracks and then receives three new race tracks for his birthday and one new race track for Christmas, and then Mommy hides three of the race tracks in a closet (and fantasizes about setting the closet full of race tracks on fire), how many racetracks does Dylan have to play with?

(Three.  Until Mommy hides another one while Dylan is sleeping.)

If Mommy buys five containers of Play-Doh and Riley opens all of them and refuses to let Mommy put them away and then Mommy realizes the next morning that the Play-Doh was left out all night, how many containers of dry, useless Play-Doh does Mommy have?

(Five. Mommy hates Play-Doh.)

If Mommy buys one box of Dora & Diego paper cups that contains 40 cups and Riley uses 10 paper cups every time he attempts to brush his teeth, how many times will Riley brush his teeth before he runs out of paper cups and Mommy realizes that buying Dora & Diego paper cups for tooth-brushing was a bad idea?

(Four. No paper cups for Riley until he’s five.)

If Mommy sings three songs to Riley at bedtime and then Riley cries and Mommy sings one more song and then Riley cries and Daddy sings one more song and then Dylan asks why no one is singing a song to him and then Riley cries and Mommy sings one more song to each kid, how many total songs do Mommy and Daddy sing while their Chinese food take-out gets cold.

(Seven. Bedtime is a bitch.)

At 6:30am, Dylan decides to build a Lego truck that has 449 pieces and promises to follow the 37 step directions all by himself.   Riley “helps” by putting three rubber tires in his mouth and throwing four teeny, tiny Lego pieces on the floor where they roll under the oven.  Then Riley stinks up the kitchen with a poop while Mommy is on her hands and knees with a flashlight looking at a lot of crumbs but no teeny, tiny Lego pieces under the oven.  Mommy stops looking for the missing Legos to change Riley’s diaper (and to escape Dylan’s whining about the lost Legos), and when she returns to the kitchen, she discovers that Dylan has skipped steps 3-9 in the directions and can’t figure out why the first 18 pieces of the truck don’t fit properly.  At 6:47am, he asks Mommy to take the truck apart so he can start all over again (all by himself) and she chips a nail in the process (Lego nails).  How many cups of coffee does Mommy need to drink to keep her head from exploding?

(At least three.  And if Dylan wants to build Legos after school, with “help” from his brother, coffee will be replaced by Pino Grigio at 5pm).

Math sure can be fun.

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Filed under bedtime, Legos, math