Category Archives: Shopaholic Mama

Relapse

I’ve been shopping. Not the legitimate kind. I’ve been scoping Web sites looking for dark rinse bell-bottom jeans, brown leather clogs, belts, little black dresses and other unauthorized clothing, shoes and accessories. The weather’s changing down here and it would be nice to have a few more long sleeved shirts and a maybe a sweater wrap. The holidays are also approaching, and Hanukkah, Dylan’s birthday and Christmas are almost here. There’s temptation everywhere, and I’m struggling to restrain myself.

But something else is going on. Remember, I’m an emotional shopper. The real reason I want to shop is that Mike has been in London on business since last Saturday. I’ve been on my own with my adorable but extremely demanding, needy, stubborn and often cranky boys for nearly seven days. Since we changed the clocks back an hour last weekend, the boys have been waking up at 4:30 in the morning, which means I’ve been waking up at 4:30, too. I’m beyond exhausted.

Coupons for free shipping and holiday discounts have been flooding my email inbox. I’ve been filling online shopping carts at Nordstrom, Gap and Anthropologie since last weekend. And I have a confession. I went all the way at Piperlime.com. I bought a charcoal grey vest with gold sequin lapels. (Sequins are in this holiday season. I learned that at Bloomingdales.com.) I got a 15% discount, but who cares when the vest cost $98 to start. It arrived in the mail yesterday. (Very fast shipping, by the way. It arrived in three days.) It’s cute, but it’s going back. Return shipping is free, and my buyer’s remorse is too strong to ever wear it.

I’ve lost control. The Piperlime purchase was a weak moment, but rock bottom would have happened today if I followed through on my scheme to drop the kids off at school and head to the mall for a morning of shopping. I stopped myself. Instead, I came straight home and took Harry for a walk. Now I’m writing.

I found out last night that an old friend of mine has breast cancer. She’s my age. I haven’t spoken to her in years, but we have the kind of friendship where we send each other birth announcements and changes of address. We went to each other’s weddings. We share big news – good and bad. She was there for me when I had my molar pregnancy, and now she has her own medical crisis. That phone call was just the slap in the face I needed to get my relapse under control.

I’m completely worn out from spending a week alone with my kids, but I have my health. I’m humbled and grateful, and I’m not going to obsess over bell-bottom jeans and sweater wraps. Not today. The kids slept in until 5:30 this morning and Mike is on an airplane right now headed home. At this time tomorrow, we’ll be back to our usual family routine. We’ll be up before dawn. Dylan will ask me “Why?” a thousand times before lunch, and Riley will have tantrums when I say no to standing on the kitchen counter and playing with knives. Mike and I will take turns watching the kids and running errands at Costco and Target. We’ll still be exhausted, but we’ll have what matters. That’s what I’m really shopping for. And it’s free.


Leave a comment

Filed under breast cancer, business travel, Shopaholic Mama, shopaholism, shopping, Uncategorized

Mommy Prozac

I bought a toy storage system last weekend at Ikea. It was within my shopaholic budget and necessary for my sanity. Mike referred to “it” (it being the actual storage system as well as the time I spent shopping for it) as my Mommy Prozac. I thought about his comment for a little while, contemplated if I should be offended, and, in the end, decided he was right. It is my Mommy Prozac. But if you walked through my house you’d understand.

Somehow, every room in our house – including the bathrooms – has become a playroom. Over the years, I’ve bought dozens of boxes, crates, totes and baskets to tastefully hold toys. Now, not only is every container overflowing with toys, but each container is like a weed in an overgrown garden. There are so many random pieces of colorful plastic roaming around the house that I’ve actually devoted baskets just for these homeless toy parts.

Regardless of my intentions, I just can’t get stuff out of my house faster than it’s coming in. Case in point: In my laundry room lives an extra-large shopping bag filled with broken, recalled and otherwise annoying toys that I want to throw out with the bulk trash but keep forgetting to. And then the kids find them and they end up back in circulation and then I find the toys and put them back in the shopping bag. And then I forget to throw them out again and the kids find them again. You get the picture.

I’m not a hoarder. I’m just a mom – a shopaholic mom – who let the house go while I was breastfeeding, potty training and, in general, learning how to take care of two kids under the age of three on a few hours of sleep each night. (By the way, I’m still trying to figure this out!) Now that Riley has truly passed the baby phase, it’s time to get rid of a lot of stuff. But no matter how many times I go to the consignment store or donate to friends and Goodwill, the piles just keep growing. It’s a daunting task, the kind that gets more overwhelming by the day and generally induces a craving for Xanax over Prozac.

On top of all the stuff I want to give away, there’s the matter of dealing with everything that, for better or for worse, still belongs here. My patio is a big wheel/pool toy junkyard. My kitchen is a minefield of cars and puzzle pieces. As I sit at the computer desk right now, there’s a box of crayons, a pile of nickjr.com printouts and an electric train remote control to my left and a sticky spot to my right that my arm keeps touching whenever I move the mouse. Just a few feet away is the train table, covered with cars, trucks, bugs (plastic ones), a old drum (from the bulk trash bag in the laundry room!), two plastic balls and a stuffed zebra, and the trains are no where to be found.

I accept responsibility for the toy tornado that has hit my house, but, at this point, it’s not a blame game. It just needs to be fixed. If buying a toy storage system at Ikea makes the chaos in my house and in my head settle down, for at least a little while, then so be it. On Saturday afternoon, I brought home one big brown Ikea box and a 12-pack of beer, and Mike built my sanity saver without judgment (well, except for the Prozac comment).

On the bright side, I think the new piece was a good bet. I have truly consolidated the toy situation in the family room (it’s a start!), put a few more toys in the charity pile and even found the missing trains. One of my shopaholic goals is to teach the boys the value of being charitable, so I took Dylan with me to the Goodwill truck last week to deliver a few bags of old baby toys and clothing. I reminded him that we were giving the toys and clothing to families who need them more than us. He said, “Okay, Mommy. And then we can get new toys.” I think I’m going to need more Mommy Prozac.

Leave a comment

Filed under Shopaholic Mama, toys, Uncategorized