The Runaway Mama is instructed to buy 12 glue sticks for her son’s Kindergarten class (as well as a thousand other supplies). He’ll be one of 18 children in his class. How many glue sticks will her son’s teacher have stockpiled in her classroom?
216. Is it me, or is that a hell of a lot of glue?
Summer camp is expensive. So is “there’s-two-weeks-between-when-camp-ends-and-school-begins” camp otherwise known as Camp Mama. The Runaway Mama takes her boys to the movies on Saturday and spends about $45 on tickets and popcorn. On Monday, she takes them to a children’s art museum and spends $135 on tickets (and a year-long family membership for future savings) and another $35 on lunch and a little something from the museum’s toy store (because being at the dynamic, exciting, and fun museum for three hours wasn’t quite enough). On Tuesday, the Runaway Mama spends $30 at the toy store rewarding her boys for going to the dentist (a hellish experience for which she will be billed at a later date). On Wednesday, she ships the boys off to a four hour long My Gym camp and it’s the best $90 she’s ever spent in her life. Just three days into Camp Mama, how much has the Runaway Mama spent caring for and entertaining her kids (excluding wine, which, like the abovementioned glue sticks, is required in abundance)?
$335 (plus the future dentist bill). I’m starting to think I was undercharged for summer camp.
Dylan likes to ask the Runaway Mama number-themed questions all day long. Over and over again. The same questions. A dozen or so times a day. How old are you? 36. How old is Daddy? 38. Are you older than Grandma? No. Who was born before me? A lot of people. Did I turn five a long time ago? About eight months ago. Will I always be older than Riley? Yes. How old will Riley be when I’m 10. Eight. Am I a tween? Not yet. How old is a teenager? 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, and 19. Will I be all grown up when I’m a teenager? Probably not. Will I be all grown up when I’m 20? One can hope. Can you count to a thousand? Yes, but I don’t want to. How old is the Earth? I don’t know, a couple of billion years old. How many people are on the planet? About seven billion, I think. How many states are there in the United States of America? 50. How many states are there in the world? I have no idea. A lot. Someone get this kid in touch with Siri! After a long day of extreme togetherness and endless questions, Dylan asks the Runaway Mama how old the Earth is. (Again.) Then he asks how old she is. (Again.) The he asks if she is older than the Earth.
New game. Whoever is quiet the longest wins.