Irony

The irony of being a mommy blogger is that being a mommy often gets in the way of blogging.  For a long while, I wrote blog posts solely during naptime.  Then, I gained a few precious morning preschool hours.  Now, I have plenty of time to write when the kids are at school or camp.

On this steamy, drizzly, dark, and thundery Sunday evening (I’m trying to set a mood here), I’m about to embark on 14 days of camp is over, school is two weeks away, there’s still summer homework to be done, and my sanity is somewhere at the end of the rainbow (I hope) parenting.

Folks, I’m leaning in.  Leaning in hard.  Yes, I’m finally reading Sheryl Sandberg’s best-selling book, and I have oodles to say and write about it!  That is, if it weren’t for the job in which I’m currently totally and completely in the weeds and for which my bosses (my kids) are far better at negotiating than me.

Today, we went sneaker shopping for school.  I bumped into a friend at the store, and as we chatted about this and that, the sales woman overheard us talking about the end of camp. [Insert dramatic music].

She said, “Camp is over?”

I said, “Yes.  Well, there are extra weeks that you can sign the kids up for, but I didn’t.”

She asked, “Why not?”

I thought, I have no fucking idea.  The next two weeks are going to be horrific.  I said, “Well, I should be able to handle this parenting thing for a few weeks.”

Should.  Oh yeah, I’m leaning in all right.

My kids are occasionally self-sufficient.  Sometimes.  Like when there’s a bowl of popcorn between them on the couch and a new episode of “Teen Titans” or “Legends of Chima” is about to start.  Then I might have a few minutes to do something besides vacuum crumbs off the couch or turn over a load of laundry.  Amazingly, though, if I even attempt to sit down at my computer – if my butt even grazes my desk chair – I inevitably hear, “Mommmmmy!”

It’s like magic.  My kids are magicians.  (Riley, especially.)

I sit.  “Mommmmmy!”

I sit again.  “Mommmmmy!”

I sit yet again.  “Mommmmmy!”

You get the idea.

No one gives a crap if I’m on my hands and knees scraping Play-Doh off the floor under the kitchen table, but if inspiration strikes and I want to sit down and write, they know.  Currently, the Xbox Kinect is entertaining both of them for 5-4-3-2…

“Mommmmmy!”

Gotta wrap it up here.

Despite my predicament, I’ve been fairly productive today.  I went for a 2.5 mile run.  I stocked up on groceries.  We successfully purchased new sneakers for school.  I baked banana bread.  From scratch.  I made dinner.  From scratch.  And even though my picky eaters remain picky with a capital “P,” we sat down as a family and ate together.  In the dining room.  With placements.  Without television.  And no one cried.  I shit you not.

(The irony of this blog post is that I wrote it to tell you that I might not have much time to write over the next few weeks.)

What are you up to?