Now that we’re about a week into summer vacation, it’s time for me to make my annual list of summer goals. As in previous years, it’s highly unlikely that I’ll accomplish any of them. (Remember the backyard garden?) Despite the high likelihood of failure, I have to make the list because I might be lazy, unrealistic, and sometimes a lot of the times irrational, but I’m not a quitter.
1. Go through four XXL Ziploc bags of Riley’s preschool crap stuff and whittle down 500 pounds of projects, pictures, and “Thanksgivukkah” tchotchkes into a 20-page scrapbook, because someday I’ll hand-deliver this scrapbook to “adult” Riley when I want it the hell out of my house and he’ll thank me for my minimalism. I’m sure of it.
2. Go through the Himalayan Mountain of crap stuff that Dylan produced in the 1st grade.
Could there be any more crap on my dining room table right now?
3. Catch-up on family photo books starting with 2011. That’s not a typo. I’m three and a half years behind. If you’re not also at least a few years behind, then you might be reading the wrong blog. Hang in there, though, because my inability to maintain baby books, photo books, or any books at all might result in you feeling better about yourself, and if I can lift up just one Mama through my failings, then my life will have greater purpose.
4. Write a book. (Sigh.) I’ll start as soon as I’m done with 1-3 above. And the laundry.
5. Blend a green shake every day some days occasionally.
I’m sorry I’ve been a bad friend. Those black bean burgers we made together on Sunday night reminded me how important you are and how much I value our friendship. I hope you’ll give me a chance to make it up to you.
The Runaway Mama
6. Finish both kids’ summer homework packets by July 4th. (I’m hilarious.)
7. Train for a marathon. Okay, that’s overdoing it. Train for a half marathon. Totally gonna happen. Yep. Maybe. We’ll see. It’s pretty hot outside. And humid. I think there’s a load of laundry to fold.
8. Teach Riley to read. Actually, he kinda sorta can read, which is awesome. Dylan learned to read at a much slower pace, so Riley’s ability, which might be developmentally ordinary, is totally and completely extraordinary to me. Therefore, give me this win, okay? Thanks.
9. Update my resume. Do people even write resumes anymore? As it turns out, the Internet is bursting with modern day resume advice. Many sources suggest utilizing social media and even starting a blog to market skills and qualifications. Wait a minute…
10. Go through the boxes in the hall closet labeled “2006,” “2007,” “2008,” “2009,” and “2010.” It might be less traumatic to set the house on fire.
11. Design a school uniform fashion line that has no tags, collars, buttons, pockets, or zippers.
12. Invent chicken that looks and feels and smells and tastes like spaghetti with shredded Parmesan cheese.
13. Run for public office.
14. End childhood hunger.
15. Cure cancer.
What are your summer goals?