It’s that time, Mamas. There’s a hella lot to do to get the kids ready for school, and it’s a damn good thing you’ve had all summer to get it done [insert laugh track].
If you’re anything like me, you want to be the mom who does all the things to ensure a smooth transition back to school, but you also want to be mom who puts all the laundry away and that hardly ever happens.
I’ve created a fantasy vs. reality back to school checklist to point out all the shoulda woulda couldas, but, more importantly, to emphasize what matters—getting your kids’ butts out the door on the first day of school because #ByeFelicia.
2 months before
Fantasy: Schedule annual physicals and request medical forms for fall sports.
Reality: Build sandcastles. Eat ice cream for dinner. You’ll regret this later, but until that unfortunate Sunday night…
6 weeks before
Fantasy: Sort through last year’s fall/winter clothing to see what still fits or should be donated.
Reality: There is no fall/winter clothing to sort through because your kids refuse to wear pants.
5 weeks before
Fantasy: Check your kids’ progress on summer reading and math assignments.
Reality: Ha! It’s only July!
1 month before:
Fantasy: Purchase school supplies.
Reality: It’s too late. The shelves are stocked for Halloween.
3 weeks before:
Fantasy: Create a “back to school” organization station with color-coded bins, cubbies, and hooks for each kid.
Reality: Put a laundry basket by the front door.
2 weeks before:
Fantasy: Get your kids back on an early bedtime routine.
Reality: That seems like a lot of work when the first morning will be a bitch anyway.
1 week before:
Fantasy: Merge the new school calendar with all extracurricular schedules in a master calendar.
Reality: Your mom group text or local Facebook parents group will remind you about anything important.
3 days before
Fantasy: Meal plan for the first week of school.
Reality: Alphabetize your takeout menus.
The night before
Fantasy: Prepare healthy lunches and snacks.
Reality: You never emptied the lunchboxes in June. Call the EPA emergency hotline and burn lunchboxes in the backyard.
First day of school
Fantasy: Enjoy every moment! They grow up so fast!
Reality: Ask a friend to tag you in her pictures. Binge watch Orange Is the New Black. You can shower tomorrow.