Category Archives: Anxious Mama

On The Move

welcome

I suck at sharing big news. I blurt it out awkwardly, say nothing at all, or make a bigger deal than I should. A few years ago, I told you I had a big announcement, and then I teased you for a several weeks prior to revealing that I bought the domain name for The Runaway Mama and switched from a Blogspot to a WordPress blog. Voila!

The process of transitioning my blog platform and buying the rights to the URL were big leaps in my writing journey, but you thought I was pregnant, so when I finally let the cat out of the bag, you were like, “Um…okay.” The ordeal left all of us disappointed because (1) you hoped I was having a third baby, and (2) I felt fat.

I have big news again, and while some of my friends know about it, I’ve yet to write about it. Frankly, it scares the crap out of me, and every time I say it out loud, it feels more and more real and I get more and more anxious. I’m a nervous Nellie on an average day, so now I’m basically a raving lunatic.

Some of you might still dare to believe I’m having a baby, even though I’m on the doorstep of forty and geriatric in the obstetrics and gynecology community. Just like my BFF, Jen Garner, I do have a baby bump, but I’m not pregnant. Some of you might be wondering if I have some kind of cancer. It’s a sad reality for many, but that’s not the news either (thankfully), which reminds me that I need to make an appointment with my dermatologist. Still, some of you might be wondering if I’ve finally written a book. If only.

Here it is.

I’m moving. Out of state. Back to the New York City area. Soon. Like, in a month or so, or several weeks, or a big bunch of days. Holy crap. (See “raving lunatic” reference in paragraph three.)

I know what you’re thinking. No biggie. Whatevs. “Um…okay.” I could live in Maine or Miami and still be the same Anxious Crazy Shopaholic Mama you’ve come to know and follow (thanks, by the way). But it is a big deal, and it’s not just because I have to pack up a house full of hoarders. It’s because I’ve lived in Florida longer than I’ve lived anywhere since I left home for college. The Sunshine State has been the backdrop of more than a decade of my life and marriage and nearly all of my 30s. I have permanent flip-flop tan lines on my feet to prove it!

It’s also where I became a mother.

If this period of my life had a theme, it would definitely be motherhood (or poop). As I throw out, give away, pack up, and prepare to embark on a new journey with my brood, I’m caught between the adventures and opportunities that await in our new locale and the sadness I feel for the friendships and support (and babysitters!) we’re leaving behind. We’re starting anew, but we’re also starting over, and that’s all kinds of scary.

I’m not ready (at all!) to deal with the emotional toll of moving away from friends and family, but I’ve started a mental list of things I’ll miss about living in Florida, including 72 degree winter days, Publix (where shopping is a pleasure), flips flops as an eternal fashion “Do,” and witnessing rain in the front yard but not in the back yard. (That never gets old.) There are things I’m looking forward to in our new locale, too, like the first crisp fall day, shopping for a winter wardrobe (boots, Baby!), and watching in awe as my boys see snow for the first time in their lives.

Of course, I’ve thought about future blog ideas, including “How to Get Your Boys to Wear Pants in 53 Simple Steps” and “Shopaholic Mama Presents: Sweaters That Flatter Every Dog.” Since moving is number three and sandwiched just below divorce and right above major illness on the list of life’s most stressful situations (revisit “raving lunatic” reference in paragraph three), there’s plenty of inspiration for blog posts right now, like “Top Ten Ways to Distract Your Kids While You Throw Out Plastic Easter Eggs, Inflatable Carnival Prizes, Deflated Balloon Animals, Happy Meal Toys, and Other Crap That Will Go on the Moving Truck OVER MY DEAD BODY.” (That title might need some work.)

Stay tuned, my faithful readers, because The Runaway Mama is on the move. But not preggers. Seriously. Not knocked up. No bun in the oven. Are we clear?

Have you done (i.e. survived) a long distance move with your kids? Tell me about it.

9 Comments

Filed under anxiety, Anxious Mama, Crazy Mama, moving, Shopaholic Mama

Everything

Today, Riley had his second front tooth pulled.  It began to hurt last week and an x-ray showed a possible abscess growing in the gum, so we decided to pull it.  Actually, it was Riley’s choice, and I’m proud of him for being so brave.  I didn’t blog about it before now, because I’ve been cool as a cucumber about the whole thing.

Are you wondering if someone hacked into my account and is pretending to be the Runaway Mama, because surely the Runaway Mama would not be “cool as a cucumber” in this type of situation?

It’s me, my friends.  It’s the real Runaway Mama.  Truthfully, my anxiety couldn’t be worse.  And it’s not just about what’s happened to me personally in recent weeks.  It’s also that monster typhoon in the Philippines.  And the killer tornadoes in the Midwest.   And that adorable Batkid in San Francisco.   And Sandy Hook.  Those precious 7th birthdays just keep coming.  And the damn healthcare Web site.  And Matt Lauer dressed as Pamela Anderson from “Baywatch” on Halloween.  (That image will haunt me forever.)  It’s Everything, folks.  I have no more room in my head or my heart for anything bad, sad, or appalling (Mr. Lauer).  The concert is sold out.  The flight is over-booked.  There are no vacancies at the inn.

Everything PLUS Riley’s abscessed front tooth should have been the straw that broke my back.  But I’m pretty sure I’m already broken, so even if Riley’s second tooth extraction was a big deal – and certainly it was – it just didn’t feel like one because how could it be when we’re all healthy and alive with a roof over our heads and food in the fridge and a new episode of “The Good Wife” on the DVR.  In all honesty, I lost more sleep worrying that Riley couldn’t have Kefir this morning before the procedure than I did about the procedure itself.

It’s just a tooth, and his permanent front teeth deep inside his gums are in excellent condition.  In addition, he’s a wonderful patient (unlike his brother), and I’ve been informed that being the one dude in his class with a missing tooth has given him some serious street cred.  When his friends catch a glimpse of his new grill (or lack there of) tomorrow morning, he’ll be the coolest cat in town.

Besides all that, symmetry takes the edge off, well, Everything.

Before:

rileybefore

Eek!

After:

rileyafter

Aah.

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Filed under anxiety, Anxious Mama, dentist, Uncategorized

Happy Meal

For those of you who’ve followed the blog for a while, you know that I live with the pickiest eater on the planet (a.k.a. Dylan).  If you’re new to the blog, just click on “food issues” or “sensory processing disorder” in the category cloud (on the bottom left) to catch up.  (It could take a while.  Maybe you want to grab a snack.)

If there’s one thing I’ve learned along this exhausting food journey with Dylan, it’s that there’s only person who’s going to decide if Dylan eats new food, and that person is Dylan (i.e. not me).  That’s how he came to eat nibble celery, and it’s how he finally ate spaghetti (but not penne, never penne).  What I want more than anything for Dylan is for food to be a source of fun and joy.  I want every meal he eats to be happy.  I want him to have happy meals, always.

Speaking of which, on Friday evening, Dylan declared that he was going to eat a McDonald’s hamburger on Saturday afternoon and that after he ate the hamburger he was going to buy a bat cave (as a reward) at the toy store.

13292337801947236390mcdonalds-hi

Okee-dokie.

My kids, like most kids, love junk food.  Cake, cookies, cotton candy, movie theater popcorn, donuts, candy, etc.  For all of their picky eating, they’ll eat just about anything filled with sugar, fat, salt, and food coloring.  Last weekend at the carnival, Dylan ate salty, greasy popcorn and Riley slurped a blue raspberry snow cone.  By the time he finished, his entire face, including his teeth, were stained blue.  It was gross, but it was okay, because at home we eat wholesome (mostly) food, and we don’t eat fast food.

I grew up eating fast food occasionally.  (Didn’t we all?)  I especially loved McDonald’s breakfast.  Hotcakes with butter and syrup and a brick of Hash browns served up in a devastating-for-the-environment Styrofoam container.  I also remember having a birthday at McDonald’s.  Maybe it was my sister’s party, actually.  In any case, it was someone’s birthday and we ate happy meals and there was a Ronald McDonald cake and there were disposable metal ashtrays on all the tables.

Now, though, I have some pretty strong feelings about how food and disease are linked, how we are what we eat and all that stuff, and how McDonald’s hamburgers supposedly don’t decompose, so I don’t hit the drive-thru much…ever.  That said, the best way to describe my desperate desire for Dylan to broaden his diet is this:  If Dylan asks a McDonald’s hamburger, I’ll find a 24-hour drive-thru in the middle of the night.

On Saturday afternoon, Mike took Dylan to McDonald’s for a happy meal.  I didn’t go with them because Dylan + new food + me (Anxiety Mama) = nothing good.  In other words, it was best if I stayed home and waited nervously by my phone for text messages, pictures, and videos.

I won’t drag this out and make you wonder, Did he eat it?  He didn’t.

mcdonalds

Not lovin’ it.

But, he did taste the hamburger before he spit it out, and that’s better than running away from the table screaming.  (FYI: Riley didn’t like it either.  In fact, he wouldn’t even taste it.)  Was the happy meal a happy meal?  No.  Yes.  Maybe.  Of course, I wish Dylan had eaten the hamburger, because eating any new food is progress, but I must admit that I’m happy he didn’t like it.  (Sorry Mickey D’s).

Do your kids like fast food?

2 Comments

Filed under Anxious Mama, food issues, sensory processing disorder, Uncategorized