Category Archives: going to the doctor

December 13, 2011 · 3:01 pm

Check

Thanksgiving…check.

Dylan’s “practice” birthday party…check.

Dylan’s BIG backyard drive-in movie birthday party…check.

Dylan’s birthday celebration at school…check.

Dylan’s “Mensch of the Week” project (Mensch is Yiddish for “a person of integrity and honor”) that required us to schlep around a one-eyed brown stuffed bear for a week, take pictures of him and Dylan all over town and write a story about it…check.

Homemade Hanukkah and Christmas cards for grandparents and cousins…check.

Thank you notes for Dylan’s birthday presents…check.

Christmas tree up and decorated…check.

Hanukkah menorahs out…check.  (In case you’re wondering, a traditional menorah has seven candles and a Hanukkah menorah, or Hanukkiah, has nine candles.  Dylan and Riley explained this to me.  All that temple pre-school tuition is paying off.) 

Dylan’s five-year check-up, including two shots and one finger prick…check.  (By the way, no one applied for the internship.  The Runaway Mama handled the whole thing on her own, thank you very much.)

Holiday shopping…on my way to the mall now to finish up some loose ends. My holiday shopping usually works like this:  buy a gift for someone on my list, buy something for me, buy a gift for someone on my list, buy something for me.  Dylan would call this a pattern.  I call it shopaholism at its finest.

This Friday is the boys’ last day of school before the two-week winter holiday break.  During that time we will build countless Lego cars and trucks, play Cars 2 Monopoly a million times, go to the zoo once or twice, visit with friends and play at the park daily.  We will also celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas and New Year’s.  It will be fun and exhausting, and by the time the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve, I will say to myself (if I’m not already sound asleep), “Check please.” 

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Filed under birthday, Christmas, going to the doctor, Hanukkah, shopaholism, Thanksgiving

December 7, 2011 · 3:14 pm

Help Wanted

The Runaway Mama seeks a friendly, charismatic and driven intern to assist with her son’s five-year wellness check-up where anywhere from four to 4,000 vaccinations will be administered.

  • Candidate must have a warm smile and friendly demeanor and must be strong enough to hold down a 38-pound child.
  • Candidate must have extensive knowledge of the Disney/Pixar “Cars” franchise, including “Cars,” “Cars 2,” “Mater’s Tall Tales,” and “Cars 2” for the Xbox in order to successfully entertain, amuse and distract the child pre- and post-vaccination.
  • Candidate must have a valid driver’s license (in case the Runaway Mama decides to bring a coffee thermos filled with Pino Grigio to the appointment).
  • Candidate must be over the age of 21 (in case the Runaway Mama needs to make a wine run before or after the shots).
  • Candidate must have a valid highschool diploma, GED or equivalent, but anyone with a proven track record of success with helping children survive the five-year wellness check-up will be considered.
  • Knowledge of and/or experience with hypnosis is preferred.
  • Knowledge of and/or experience with teleportation is a plus.
  • Successful candidate will be considered for future medical and/or dental visits.

Those who have not outrun a swarm of bees, fought off a grizzly bear, or lifted a burning car with their bare hands need not apply.  Otherwise, the Runaway Mama is an equal opportunity employer.  Submit cover letter, resume and references directly to the Runaway Mama.  Position is open through December 11, 2011.


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Filed under dentist, going to the doctor, wine