May 7, 2011 · 1:33 pm

The Talk

I was in New York City on September 11, 2001.  It was a traumatic day and a harrowing time.  Just thinking about it (and writing about it) makes me feel a lump in my throat.  The emotions I feel about it today are just as raw as they were ten years ago.

I’ve had a hard time this week watching crowds of people celebrating bin Laden’s death.   I don’t mean to judge anyone.  I get it.  I understand the pride, the anger, the relief and the feeling that justice has been done.  But I feel a great sense of sadness.  Not for bin Laden.  He was a madman.  But for everyone who has died or suffered because of him and what he stands for and for all the hate that exists in the world with or without him breathing.  

I receive daily Google News Alerts on the topics of parenting and motherhood.  Many of the stories I’ve read this week have been about how to talk to kids about the death of Osama bin Laden.  I couldn’t be more grateful that my kids are too young to require such an unpleasant conversation.  

At two years old, Riley’s main concerns are wasting as many Band-Aids as possible on pretend boo boos and being pushed high on a swing.  Dylan, at age four, might respond to images he sees on television, but he finds Nick Jr. a lot more interesting than Mommy’s news shows on MSNBC.

I can barely find the courage to explain to Dylan that he’s going to see a “feelings doctor” next week.  (This was a suggestion from the therapist.  Another name was “doctor who doesn’t give shots.”  I like that one a lot.)  So I’m glad I don’t have the burden of talking to him about terrorism, mass murder, war or death…for a few more years, anyway.  I know the conversation will ultimately happen – about September 11th or some other tragedy – but I’m a Grateful Mama for any additional amount of time we have to talk about nothing more serious than basketball, dinosaurs, show & share and The Incredibles (Dylan’s new movie obsession).

Have you talked to your kids about Osama bin Laden?

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May 4, 2011 · 2:36 pm

I Heart Tuesdays

I know it’s Wednesday, but give me a break.  I’m a busy Mama, I have a sinus infection and every time I sit down to write, a small person whines, cries or poops. 

Before I tell you about Tuesday, let me quickly tell you that Monday was nuts. Riley wouldn’t nap (as usual) and ended up falling down the rabbit hole by mid-afternoon.  The tantrums were endless and, at one point, he cried so fiercely that he threw up.  On my carpet.  (Insert deep breath.)  The poor little guy was a monster.  Only bedtime for him and a few glasses of wine for me could end the suffering.  When Mike got home from work I had to sit alone my bedroom in the dark for a good twenty minutes before I could face the rest of the evening.  I specifically asked Mike to handle the tooth brushing, because that often sends me down my own rabbit hole.

Okay, back to Tuesday.  It was teacher appreciation week and I got both kids to school on time with their homemade cards for their teachers in hand.  I even passed in Dylan’s Pre-Kindergarten paperwork.   Next, I met Mike at a child therapist’s office where we spent the next hour talking to a lovely woman about Dylan.  Truthfully, this is the one thing that I didn’t “heart” about Tuesday.  It was overwhelming, but I know we’re doing the right thing to explore ways to help Dylan cope better with his anxiety.  By the time that meeting was over, I had just enough time to get a few things at Whole Foods and then make some phone calls at home before heading back to school to get Riley. 

Here’s where it gets good.  On Tuesdays, Dylan goes to school for a full day (2:45pm) and then goes to basketball class until 3:50pm.   I still have to pick up Riley at 12:45, but my afternoon strategy is simple: drive around until Riley falls asleep.  Don’t judge.  I know gas is expensive, but if you knew Riley, you’d pay any price for gas to lull this kid into a nap.  It worked, and even though I should’ve then emptied and filled the dishwasher, folded a load of laundry or written this blog, I decided to sit on the couch and watch episodes of “Bethenny Ever After” on the DVR.  It was just what the doctor ordered (not for my sinus infection, for my sanity).

When Riley woke from his nap we snuggled on the couch together for a while before driving to pick up Dylan at basketball.  I like to get there a few minutes early because watching Dylan dribble a basketball is like magic purple medicine (Children’s Tylenol) for the soul.  When we got home, I was refreshed and ready for the evening’s hijinks.  We played with dinosaurs in the family room, swung on the swings outside, ate grilled cheese sandwiches and watched Dino Dan. 

I didn’t get frustrated when Dylan looked suspiciously inside his grilled cheese sandwich to see if I hid some kind of evil food like turkey, hummus or a vegetable, or when Riley pulled a chair up to the kitchen sink to play with the faucet like a fire hose, or when both boys forced me to push them on the swings in the mosquito-filled back yard.  I brushed off the flood they created in the bathroom during their bath, and I even helped them brush their teeth without killing either one of them.  When Mike got home from work he said to me, “You’re in a chipper mood today.”  I was.

What was the secret?  Spending less time with the boys.  This admission brings on major Mama Guilt, but it’s the truth.  Today is Wednesday and both boys come home from school at 12:45pm.  Only time will tell how the (long) afternoon unfolds, but I have a feeling I don’t heart Wednesdays.


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