Monthly Archives: August 2014

August 14, 2014 · 6:17 pm

The Runaway Mama’s Solution To Getting Your Kids Excited To Go Back To School

UnauthorizedParentHack

I have a surefire way to get your kids excited to go back to school. It’s so simple that I can hardly believe it myself. Are you ready? Here it is:

Take them on errands.  Several of them.  In a row.  All day.

Here are the basic guidelines for success:

1. Make sure the errand locations are boring. Dull. Mind-numbing. For example, take them to Public Storage to sign a multi-page contract on a 10 X 10 storage unit. Or, go to Fedex Office and wait in a long line to place an order for 500 black & white copies of a PTO flyer. Or, go to Macy’s to buy socks.

2. Do not make it fun. In other words, don’t stop for frozen yogurt, forget the tablets at home (oops!), and listen to talk radio in the car.

3. Make no less than six (but no more than 10 stops) during the day. Be sure the overall length of the journey is at least four hours long, but aim for five to six.

Runaway Mama Tip:

Don’t be a hero. More than ten stops and six hours might result in lunacy (for you AND your children) that can’t be reversed.

4. Do said errands on a day that is hot or rainy or both.

5. If you don’t see results after one full day of errand schlepping, repeat daily as needed. (See below for errand ideas.)

7. Be patient. This totally and completely unauthorized parent hack is guaranteed to work. Eventually, your kids will break. They will be excited to go back to school.

#unauthorizedparenthack

Errand Ideas

Renew your driver’s license.

Bring a prescription to the pharmacy and wait for it to be filled.

Check your tire pressure at the gas station.

Get the car serviced. Wait at the dealership.

Go to your cable company office to exchange equipment.

Apply for a passport.

Wait in line at the post office for a book of stamps.

Exchange shirts for a different size at the school uniform store.

Take the kids for haircuts.

Drop off bags of old clothes at Goodwill.

Register for fall sports. (Forget your proof of residency. Drive back home to get a recent utility bill and then drive back.)

Go to Bed Bath & Beyond to buy silver cleaner and a waterproof mattress pad.

 Do you have any errand ideas to add?

 

 

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Filed under list, school

August 12, 2014 · 9:37 am

The Weight Of It All

Editor’s note:

I wrote this post long before we learned of Robin Williams’ suicide. It has nothing to do with him, yet it’s somehow relevant because as I watched social media explode with both shocking sadness over his death and joyous tributes to his life, I experienced – once again – the power of the shared experience and our limitless capacity to help one another make sense of joy and tragedy.

WeightOfItAll

In one day, I heard from one friend who had emergency surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy and saw photos of another friend’s gender reveal cake on Facebook. (It’s a girl!) A few years ago, I experienced a similar onslaught of contrary news when one friend lost her young daughter to brain cancer on the same day as another friend gave birth to healthy baby girl.

Even further back, I remember the day my sister called to tell me she was pregnant with her second child. At the time, I was in the middle of weekly chemotherapy injections following my molar pregnancy. It’s hard to encapsulate the simultaneous feelings of joy, sorrow, hope, and despair I felt during that conversation, but I also know her good news was as difficult for her to share as it was for me to hear.

It’s frightening to think about the infinite beginnings, middles, and endings that are possible in motherhood (and in life), especially when the farthest ends of the good and bad news spectrum collide so often. I have nothing clever to say about any it, except that all of it reaffirms my belief in the power of the shared experience and our limitless capacity to help one another endure the heartbreaks, revel in the miracles, and carry the weight of it all in between.

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Filed under death, molar pregnancy, motherhood, pregnancy