Category Archives: Grateful Mama

The Helpers

During a week like this, when bombs filled with shrapnel explode at the finish line of the iconic Boston Marathon, our federal government fails to represent the people they were elected to serve, an explosion levels a town in Texas, letters laced with ricin are delivered to Senate offices and the White House, and an entire metropolitan area – and our nation – is terrorized, we must, as Mr. Rogers suggests, find the helpers.

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers.  You will always find people who are helping.'”  — Fred Rogers

At six and four years old, my kids are still young enough to be shielded from the news (#gratefulmama).  I don’t have to tell them about bad people and scary things that happen in the world, and I don’t have to explain to them how to look for helpers (yet).  But, believe me, I’m still searching for them.  I’m searching for them because I need to see them.

Thankfully, I’ve found a bunch.

Like Team Newtown Strong, a group of parents from Newtown who ran the 26.2-mile Boston Marathon to honor the 26 victims of the Sandy Hook massacre last December.

Like the courageous volunteers, first responders, police, doctors and nurses, and concerned citizens who ran toward the blasts to help victims.

Like the marathon runners who ran straight from the finish line to nearby hospitals to donate blood.

Like the generous Bostonians who gave money, clothing, food, and shelter to cold, hungry, lost, and stranded runners.

Like Newtown father, Mark Barden, who lost his seven-year-old son, Daniel, at Sandy Hook and vowed on the White House lawn to keep fighting for common sense gun control because, in his own words, “we will always be here because we have no other choice.”

Like Gabby Giffords for whom speaking is difficult but made her feelings crystal clear when she wrote in the New York Times, “I’m furious.”

Like the first responders and volunteer fire fighters who raced into the fire in West, Texas.

As a blogger, I spend a lot of time reading other blogs.  I just happened to discover a new one recently called Chasing Rainbows where author Kate Leong writes about her journey to raise her children, including one with special needs.  A week ago, just when I started reading her (beautifully written) blog, her five-year-old with special needs, Gavin, died.  I hadn’t even read enough to know what his disabilities were, but in the end, a series of seizures and cardiac arrest took his young life.

Like Kate Leong who asked her readers to honor her son’s life by doing one simple thing – to help someone in need.

Like little Gavin who in death has already save a life with his kidney donation.

On Friday, I attended the Women’s Fund’s Annual Power of the Purse Luncheon.

IMG_0995

The Women’s Fund is Miami-Dade’s only organization directing all its energy toward creating equal opportunity, access, and influence for women and girls.  Leadership development, reproductive justice, economic security, and freedom from violence are just a few of the issues in which the Women’s Fund invests.  In a place like Miami, where the community is diverse and the socio-economic, ethnic, and gender disparities are enormous, an organization like the Women’s Fund, quite simply, saves lives.

Their luncheon brings together more than a thousand people each year and celebrates an entire community of women and men who make a difference in the lives of women and girls.  While madness unfolded in Boston on Friday, I sat in a ballroom in Miami bursting at the seams with helpers.

And purses (#shopaholicmama).  Oh, the purses!  A silent auction, including to-die-for bags and purses, has become a hallmark of the luncheon.

Salvatore Ferragamo

Salvatore Ferragamo

Prada

Prada

Diane von Furstenberg

Diane von Furstenberg

Lanvin

Lanvin

There were tons of other silent auction items, too, including this one, which had my name all over it!

IMG_0990

Alas, there were no owls to bid on (but I’m not angry or anything).

The Purse is definitely a powerful catalyst for change. For me, though, the real power is the People.

One of the speakers at the luncheon was a teenage girl who beat the odds and broke the cycle of poverty, abuse, and teen pregnancy that swallows girls whole in her neighborhood.  Another was a woman who fought her way back to freedom and economic independence after a sexual assault in the military led her to addiction, crime, and incarceration.

Yeah, as it turns out, finding helpers was easy.

Like the two courageous women at the luncheon who became helpers by merely giving voice to their stories.

Like the hundreds (thousands?) of Bostonians who took to the streets on Friday night to cheer for the police.

Like the stranger at Blue Martini in Fort Lauderdale who bought a round of drinks for everyone at the bar, including perfect strangers, because he wanted to remind people that even in the midst of great suffering, we must remember to experience joy and live life to the fullest.

Like my six-year-old son who gave his ice cream money to a friend at school who forgot to bring his own (#proudmama).

But what about now?  Now that the mayhem is over, the adrenaline has receded, and regular television programming has resumed, will it be as easy to find the helpers?  Will we even be looking?

At Friday night’s press conference after the second Marathon bombing suspect was finally apprehended, I was struck by something said by Col. Timothy Alben of the Massachusetts State Police.  He said, “We’re exhausted.”

Exhausted, indeed.  But let’s keep looking for helpers, okay?  And let’s keep helping.

For Krystle Campbell, Lu Lingzi, Martin Richard, and Sean Collier.  For their families.  For the injured in Boston.  For the victims and their families in Newtown.  For West, Texas.  For Gavin.  For women and girls.  For our kids.  For each other.

Did you look for the helpers this week?

4 Comments

Filed under death, fear, Grateful Mama, guns, Proud Mama, Shopaholic Mama, Uncategorized

Then and Now

Mike travels for work on occasion.  Sometimes he goes to New York and sometimes he goes to London.  When it’s New York, it’s usually a three or four day trip, but when it’s London, it’s usually a week.  A very long week.  This week, he’s in London.  He’s been gone since last Friday.  Sigh.

Editor’s note:  When I tell people that Mike is going to London, they almost always ask, “Are you going with him?”  Is this actually something parents with two small children, a dog, two fish and an algae eater do?   (Note to self: Feed fish.)  With a week’s notice?  Of course I want to go to London.  I also want to get in and out of Target without buying a “Beverly Hills Chihuahua” movie. 

When the boys were younger, Mike’s trips were a challenge difficult unbearable.  Once when he arrived home after a week away, I literally broke out into a fever after keeping my s–t together all week.  Then there was the week when “mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy” happened.  That was unfortunate.

Editor’s note: Single Mamas are rock stars. 

Now that the kids are older (and they’re out of diapers and they sleep past 5:00am), Mike’s trips are totally manageable.  Of course, now that I’ve said that, a piano will fall on my head.  All kidding aside, between school, activities, and homework, we have a predictable structure and a steady rhythm, and the week has gone by fairly quickly.  In addition, the house is a lot less messy and there are fewer pairs of socks scattered on the floor.

Editor’s note: I always thought the kids made motherhood so damn messy.  Apparently, the husbands are in on it, too.

Best of all?  Shopaholic binges while spouses are away are guilt-free because any Mama who singlehandedly puts two crazy monkeys to bed for seven nights in a row deserves a new pair of shoes.

Still, there’s a downside.  The weekends are lonely, my bed is almost always full of uninvited men, I have to take the trash out (oops, I forgot), and the boys miss their Daddy something awful.  For a long time, Mike could’ve been in Barcelona or the bathroom.    (Actually, there was a trip to Barcelona once.  And, no, I didn’t go with him.)  At such a young age, the boys did the “out of sight out mind” bit that babies and toddlers do so well.  Whoever provided food, milk, and a warm bath was all that mattered.  (Similarly, I did the “out of sight out of my mind” bit that Mamas do when they feed, rock, and change poopy diapers all through the night only to be woken up before dawn and forced to finger paint.)  If the boys acted out (and they did), they had no idea that it was because they missed Daddy.  They just sensed something was different.

Now, Dylan and Riley know exactly where Daddy is.  Literally!  Mike programmed his hotel into Google Earth, so the boys can explore the streets of London on the computer.  They also know precisely how long he’ll be gone…sort of.  Riley doesn’t quite grasp the concept of time yet (although I have to give the kid some credit for identifying George Washington on a one dollar bill this morning), but Dylan is all over the calendar.  All week he’s been saying, “After today, four more days,” then, “After today, three more days,” and so on.

Thankfully, after today, Mike will be on his way home at last.  (Grateful Mama!)  With all of the changes between then and now, though, one thing remains the same:  On Saturday morning, when Mike is jet lagged and the kids are whiny and they need to eat breakfast and get dressed and packed up for soccer, I’ll be on my way to a well-deserved pedi cure.

Do you or your spouse travel for work?  How do you and/or your kids handle it?   

2 Comments

Filed under business travel, Grateful Mama, shopaholism, Single Mama