Category Archives: cooking

Spaghetti

Spaghetti has been a big deal in my life.

Editor’s note:  That sentence sounds as silly to me as it probably does to you!

Remember the song “On Top Of Spaghetti” by Tom Glazer?

On top of spaghetti,

All covered with cheese,

I lost my poor meatball,

When somebody sneezed.

I’m 37 years old and I still sing this song in my head.  Occasionally.  You?

My mom makes really good spaghetti and meatballs.  I’m talking yummy, hearty, fill-up-your-plate-twice good.  It’s so good that when I went through a (very) brief vegetarian stage as a teenager, it was my mom’s spaghetti that, in the end, kept me a carnivore. Twenty plus years later, I don’t eat much red meat, but I make some exceptions, most notably my father-in-law’s “fill-in-the-Jewish-holiday” brisket.  I don’t live near my mom now, but I’d make an exception for her spaghetti and meatballs anytime.

My childhood memory of spaghetti isn’t just culinary.  Whenever my mom made spaghetti for dinner, my parents fought. Spaghetti=fight.  It never made any sense to me, but now that I’m a Mama, I have some theories.  Maybe my sister and I drove my mom batty while she was cooking, and by the time dinner was ready all she wanted was to be locked in a closet alone (been there).  Maybe she was exhausted and felt unappreciated (been there, too).  Maybe my parents were in that phase of “marrhood” (marriage+parenthood=marrhood) (yes, I just made that up) where everything is hard, there’s never enough time, and there’s always something to do…for someone else.

Side note: Mike and I went through a period once where we fought every time we went out to dinner.  I grew to fear the nights we had a babysitter, and there’s something seriously wrong with that.  Babysitter=fight?  No way.  It was marrhood.   Eventually, it passed. 

Maybe my memory is playing tricks on me.  Maybe there was one spaghetti fight and my mind has altered the memory over time.  Maybe I should ask my mom about it.  (Mom, are you reading this?  Call me.)

After all these years, spaghetti is still a big deal.  With Dylan’s sensory issues, especially related to food, our “strategery” has been something akin to throwing spaghetti against the wall to see what sticks.  In the name of trying new food, we’ve done it all (at the very least, a lot).

  • Color-themed menus – read “Gut Check” here.
  • Picnics – read “Smile, Laugh, Quack, Sneeze.” here.
  • Taste tests – read “Pancake Party” here.
  • Meal decorations (i.e. cocktail umbrellas stuck in turkey burgers) – read “Fortunate Friday” here.
  • Rewards – read “Prepositions” here.
  • Therapy – read “Outsourcing” here.
  • Tough love – read “Fear and love and food” here.
  • Cooking together – read “Choice. Words.” here.
  • Applied behavior analysis – read “Trying” here and “The Couch (Or Blame) (Or Hands)” here.
  • Dinner logs – read “New” here.

The tricky thing about throwing spaghetti against the wall (in my house, anyway) is that it only ever sticks if Dylan wants it to.  Recently, out of the blue, Dylan told me he wanted to eat – you guessed it – spaghetti.  Of course, I wished he wanted to try chicken, hummus, or eggs, but spaghetti was pretty exciting.  He eats a few other pastas, like elbows and ziti…but not penne because the ridges on penne are scary.  FYI: the ridges on potato chips aren’t scary.  At all.  Spaghetti would be another carb on a long list of carbs he likes to eat, but it would be a new food (a good thing) and a game changer for eating out (a great thing).  It’s much easier to find spaghetti on a menu than it is to find elbows.

I’m pleased to report that spaghetti – with no oil, no sauce, and a lot of Parmesan cheese – has officially been consumed and L-O-V-E-D by Dylan (Riley, too).  Even better, Dylan ate spaghetti in a restaurant!  In case you’re wondering, the preparation of spaghetti at home was quick and easy and didn’t cause a fight.  In fact, it was just the opposite.  I had the priceless opportunity to teach my boys how to do “spaghetti kisses.”

ladyandthetramp

Is there a particular food that means a lot to you?

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Filed under cooking, eating out, food, food issues, sensory processing disorder

Word Problems IX

Full disclosure here.  I had to look online whether the Roman numeral for nine was VIIII or IX.  I also had a math tutor in high school.  Thankfully, most of Mama math is subjective.

Ready?  Here we go…

The Runaway Mama decides to bake cupcakes during Tropical Storm Isaac.  This is partly because she’s bored and partly because she thinks if she does something that requires electricity, her power will not go out.  (This is known as reverse psychology or the desperate measures of a panic stricken woman with PTSD from previous hurricane power outages that lasted for weeks.  Yes, weeks.  Plural as in more than one.)  She stumbles across a recipe online that calls for two sticks of butter for the vanilla cupcakes and two sticks of butter for the vanilla cream icing.  She thinks to herself, That’s a lot of butter, but she bakes them anyway.  In the end, she only uses half of the icing (so one stick of butter) to ice the cupcakes.  If each stick of butter has eight tablespoons and she makes 24 cupcakes with icing, how many tablespoons of butter are in each cupcake?

This is a real word problem, folks, and solving it required more time and effort than I’d like to admit.  According to my calculations, between the cupcake and the icing, there’s approximately one tablespoon of butter in each one.  That’s not so bad, and let me tell you, each bite was worth it.  And I ran two miles the next day, so it’s kind of like it never happened.

In the course of one morning, the Runaway Mama takes one little monkey to Kindergarten and one squishy monkey to preschool.  Then she takes one dog on a walk, finds one hissing little snake INSIDE the doorframe of her front door (translation: one slither away from being an uninvited house guest), hops over one Charlotte’s web caliber spider web, and encounters a swarm of about 12 terrifying little black birds on her run.  How many wild animals (human, leashed, or otherwise) did the Runaway Mama encounter before lunch, and when will she be brave enough to open her front door without a severe onset of ophiophobia symptoms, including but not limited to shortness of breath, crying, cursing, and/or putting the house up for sale?

Seventeen and never.  Not only is my garage already a danger zone (I found two snakes there a few months ago), but also now the front door is no longer a viable method of entering and exiting the house.  If I were Santa Clause, I’d use the chimney, but that’s silly for a lot of reasons, including the fact that I don’t have a chimney.  And thank God, because who knows what creatures would get in that way.  I’d like to formally volunteer to live in a bubble.

In three days, the Runaway Mama will celebrate her 10th wedding anniversary.

There’s no math here, just awe.

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