Category Archives: eating out

When My Kids Wanted to Drink Soda, I Said Yes

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I have two children with sensory processing differences. Both are picky eaters. Both are sensory picky eaters. One is a severe sensory picky eater. Certain tastes, textures, and smells are deal breakers. Entire food groups are off the table.

Mealtime at home is tricky. Elsewhere – at school, camp, birthday parties, sleepovers, and vacations – it’s grueling. I am that mom and my kids are those kids, and it breaks my heart.

They’ll grow out of it.

I hear this a lot. Sometimes, it’s from well-meaning people who don’t know what else to say. Other times, it’s from parents who have stood in my uncomfortable shoes. I hold on to their optimism as my kids quickly approach the upper age limit on children’s menu items and gain more independence in their social lives.

I do my best to make sure my kids eat as healthy as possible within their limitations, and I encourage (but not force) them to explore new foods whenever possible. I say yes to whatever they want to try because I never want them to say no out of fear, and I’m not just talking about food.

Perfect parents need not read any further.

If my kids asked to try a Happy Meal, I would drive to McDonald’s in the middle of the night.

If my kids asked to try pizza, I’d have it delivered for breakfast.

If my kids asked to try a Slurpee, I’d say, “What flavor?”

When we eat out, I ask my kids if they want soda with their plain spaghetti no sauce, no butter, no oil with parmesan cheese on the side in case it tastes like the inside of a balloon.

I don’t want them to drink soda, but I want them try soda. I want them to know what an ice cold Coca-Cola tastes like, and I want them to know if they’re on Team Pepsi or Team Coke. But they never want it.

When my kids unexpectedly told me they wanted to try Mountain Dew, I was suspect. The thing about having picky eaters is that excitement and disappointment go hand in hand. It’s hard not to be enthusiastic about the potential to add a new food to their diet, but it’s equally difficult to anticipate the disappointment of “I don’t like it” that comes 99.3% of the time.

Their curiosity for the carbonated beverage came from an unfortunate infatuation with the YouTube sensation, Pink Sheep. Despite the annoying inspiration, when new food requests surface, I listen. At the grocery store, I bought strawberries, grapes, bananas, and a liter of Mountain Dew because a mom can dream.

All afternoon, my boys said they couldn’t wait to try Mountain Dew…later or in a while or tomorrow.

They were scared. “Why wait? Let’s do it!”

I alleviated their anxiety. “Mountain Dew is sweet and fizzy. It will make your tongues feel funny, but it’s okay.”

I threw in some healthy eating advocacy for good measure.  “Soda is fun to drink but it won’t fuel your body and brain, and it won’t make you healthy and strong. If you like it, you can drink it sometimes but not all the time.”

I put ice in two glasses and warned them of the hissing sound they would hear when I twisted the cap on the bottle. They smiled when they heard it. I poured a small amount in each glass. They marveled at the sparkling bubbles.

They sniffed. They pulled back. They sniffed again. They sipped. They winced a little bit and smiled.

They liked it. They liked it!

A few days later, I gave my kids money for the snack bar at our community pool. They came back with an ice cream sandwich, a soft pretzel, and a giant styrofoam cup filled with Mountain Dew.

I rarely feel like I belong when it comes to feeding my children, and I finally had something in common with the other parents when I proudly and firmly called my kids out. “I didn’t say you could buy soda! You didn’t ask for permission! No more soda!”

 sensory blog hop

Welcome to the Sensory Blog Hop — a monthly gathering of posts from sensory bloggers hosted by The Sensory Spectrum and The Jenny Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about what it’s like to have Sensory Processing Disorder and to raise a sensory kiddo!Want to join in on next month’s Sensory Blog Hop? Click here!

Want to read more amazing posts in the August Sensory Blog Hop? Just click on this adorable little frog…

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Filed under eating out, food, food issues, sensory processing disorder

The Snapshot

On Sunday evening, Mike and I took the boys to Chili’s to eat dinner and watch USA play Portugal in the World Cup. Upon being seated, we discovered that Chili’s has tablets on each table that can be used to order drinks, pay the bill, and play games. For a mere 99 cents, the kids could play unlimited games while we ate, and I thought it was awesome because it meant we had a fighting chance of lasting more than 30 minutes before the kids expired and/or Riley announced that he had to poop…badly. I was so excited that I posted this snapshot on my social media accounts.

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Later, I received this comment:

“Such a shame when I think that dinner is a good time to talk to your kids and have great conversations.”

Hmm.

Believe it not, I’m relatively new at receiving and responding (or not responding) to negative comments on the blog and/or social media. (Just to clarify, negative comments and rejection are two different things.   I’ve received plenty of the latter.) I’ve been writing as The Runaway Mama for nearly four years, and this was just one of two off-putting comments I’ve ever received about my writing or my social media presence. The other – a doozy – came a few weeks ago about my Mother’s Day post from a person who wrote: “what a self-absorbed bitch.”

Yowza.

Dylan is really funny in that he can watch an explosive, large-scale, and violent scene in super hero movie like “Man of Steel” and be totally and completely fine, but he is forever scarred from watching “The Lion King,” “E.T.,” “Finding Nemo,” and the scene in “Toy Story 3” where Lotso tells the story of how he and Big Baby were lost and replaced by their owner. One is too big and shocking to absorb, and the others tug at where he’s most vulnerable…his heart.

Similarly, the “self-absorbed bitch” comment was so crazy hateful that it meant far less to me than the passive aggressive words of disapproval about my parenting (ouch). The thing about our Sunday night dinner at Chili’s, though, is that so much else happened outside of the snapshot of the boys playing on the tablet.

Mike and I stole some quiet time to talk, reminisce, and laugh without interruption. We felt connected and happy, and that doesn’t happen often enough these days!

We talked about healthy eating with the kids. Mike insisted that the boys try the guacamole because avocados are tasty and full of protein and “good” fat. They refused (of course), which prompted a friendly debate over whether or not an avocado is a fruit or a nut (it’s a fruit, by the way).

We celebrated futball! When USA scored their first goal, Mike and I laughed (again!) because we both missed seeing it live due to intense guacamole negotiations.

We had a sensory victory! Dylan ate a french fry (a french fry!), which made me explode with pride. If you’re more than a first-time or one-time reader, you know that Dylan has a limited diet due to sensory processing disorder, so trying any new food, wherever it falls on the healthy eating spectrum and even if it’s a fatty, greasy french fry, is a very good thing!

We explored concepts in math and money. For every three bites of macaroni & cheese Riley ate, I gave him one dollar. For every one dollar he paid me, I gave him a handful of tortilla chips that were leftover from the guacamole, which he eventually did taste and immediately declared, “I don’t like it.” In then end, he ate a pretty good dinner and went home with two dollars in his pocket.

We had a bathroom adventure (of course). Riley inevitably announced that he had to go to the bathroom. He promised he just had to pee, so we let him and Dylan go together. Mike checked on them a few minutes later and discovered Riley in a stall with the door locked saying he couldn’t get out. Dylan was going to crawl under the door to free him and said to Mike, “Don’t tell Mommy,” because he knew I’d be upset that he touched the floor (my valiant son!). In the end, Mike talked Riley into unlocking the door on his own, and they all returned to the table with a bath in their future and great story to tell.

We experienced the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat (or the draw). Dylan was standing next to me when USA made their second goal. It was amazing! We hugged and cheered and yelled “GOOOOOOAAAALLLL!” along with every other crazy, screaming person in the restaurant, and I’ll never forget that special moment. Soon after, we watched stunned as Portugal scored in the last seconds of the game. Boo.

Chili’s is my new favorite restaurant to take the kids, and the snapshot I shared on social media was just that – a snapshot that was a part of a much larger story about a family sharing a meal together at a local bar and grill.

One of the most important lessons that being a parent has taught me is to resist the urge to misinterpret or judge others (and myself!) because the journey is long, surprises await every turn, and I’m doing the very best I can from one moment to the next all the while hoping they add up to something authentic and honest in the end. I like to think most parents would agree with me on this. Regardless, I still look forward to your comments (gulp).

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Filed under bathroom, eating out, food issues, math, movie, parenting, sensory processing disorder, writing

Spring Break In Review

Spring break is over! Yay!

Almost. Boo.

Dylan is back at school, but Riley, because of the Passover holiday, doesn’t go back until tomorrow. Bugger.

Just as I anticipated, it was a long week, and just as I predicted, I wanted to pull my hair out by bedtime on Thursday. All in all, though, it was an interesting week filled with dilemmas, adventures, anxiety (of course), firsts, and family.

Dylan bought new sneakers with laces. The “with laces” part is important. I vowed never to buy him (or Riley) sneakers with laces until he could tie his own shoes, but then he drooled over these really cool black Nike basketball sneakers and I couldn’t say no. (Never say never.) Now I’m desperate to teach him to tie his own shoes (so I don’t have to do it ten times a day), and let’s just say progress has been slow. This milestone – tying ones own shoes – feels like a big deal, and I feel as much pressure to get it done as I did when Dylan was almost three and a half and not yet potty trained. I can’t help but think about Lisa Belkin’s recent piece, “Parenting Memories: The Bubbles That Unite And Divide Us,” about how we get caught up in whatever stage of parenting we’re in (breastfeeding, potty training, applying for colleges, etc.) and then find it hard to relate to parents who are in a different place. My friends, I am in the “learning to tie shoes” bubble. (Help!)

We went to the zoo and the lion roared! It. Was. Amazing. It was the first time I ever heard a lion roar, and it’s going on my Runaway Mama Bucket List, for sure. It was a first for Dylan and Riley, too, although if you ask Dylan what his favorite part of the zoo was, he’ll say, “eating popcorn.”

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I got the results of my thyroid biopsy. Don’t get too excited. There was no result. Really. It was non-diagnostic, which means the cell sample wasn’t large enough for the pathologist to make a determination. It’s neither good nor bad. It’s nothing. It’s like it never happened. I have to do the biopsy all over again, and I have to wait three weeks to do it so the thyroid can heal completely from the first procedure. This non-diagnostic result happens approximately 10% of the time, which made me want to scream into a pillow for a little while. I’m okay now, but the anxiety has propelled my spring cleaning energy to a dangerous level. I still haven’t started on my closet, but the laundry room looks great, I rearranged the kitchen, and we finally hung some framed pictures of the boys that I’ve been meaning to do since Christmas (and before they graduate high school). Next up: the patio, the toy closet, and the boys’ bedroom. [Insert dramatic music].

Riley got his first ear infection! In fact, it was our first ear infection as a family. Dylan has never had one. Crazy, right? Poor guy was stuffy and coughing all week, but it wasn’t until Friday that his ear nearly exploded.

We had a very successful family dinner on Saturday night at the Macaroni Grill. Both kids behaved, ate the food they ordered, and only went to the bathroom once. So that’s what it’s like to go out to dinner with my children and not have an uncontrollable urge to hurl myself out a window!

We celebrated Easter on Sunday. I (a Jewish Mama, remember) hid candy and Squinkie filled eggs in the backyard, the boys ate excessive amounts of chocolate…

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Riley=1. Bunny=0.

…and we had a lovely brunch with stimulating conversation about Plato and Socrates’ Allegory of the Cave, “The Croods” (major philosophical undertones!), and Jesus Christ, all of which made me wonder where the hell the Easter Bunny came from.

Last but not least, bedtime last night, after a week of staying up late and sleeping in, was, predictably, a bitch.

How was your spring break?

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Filed under anxiety, bedtime, bucket list, cleaning, Easter, eating out, health, movie, spring break