March 31, 2011 · 3:03 pm

Shout Out

Just when I thought I’d recovered from spring break, Mike left for a weeklong business trip to London.  I’ve been on my own with the boys since last Saturday.  A year ago, these trips terrified me.  Riley was still a baby and Dylan was too young to understand Mike’s sudden absence.  It was just so hard.  It still is, but a year later, the boys are older and more understanding, and I guess I am, too.  I hate to be a Complaining Mama, especially when there are so many other things in the world to worry about, so I’m dedicating this post to everyone and everything I’m grateful for this week.

First and foremost, I’d like to give a shout out to all the Single Mamas in the world.  It is so hard to be the one – the only one – to get up with the boys in the morning, get them through the whole day and evening and then be the one – the only one – to put them to bed.  On some nights, by the time we get to the teeth-brushing portion of bedtime, I want to strangle them with the floss.  When Mike is out of town, I’m reminded of how fortunate I am when he is home to be able to walk away from the madness when I need to.  
Next, my inner circle.  My in-laws and sister-in-law, who live nearby, go into “stand-by” mode when Mike goes out of town and I love them for it.  They’ve come over almost every day this week to distract the kids and me for a few hours.  My parents, who live in Massachusetts, call almost every day, and my friend and fellow Mama, Karen, calls me at least half a dozen times a day to make sure I’m still standing.  As isolated as I sometimes feel, I’m definitely not alone.
Sudafed.  Riley caught a cold last weekend and has systematically passed it on to everyone in the house.  Even Mike has been complaining of a sore throat in London.  The only thing harder than being a Single Mama is being a Sick Single Mama.  Sudafed has been a good friend this week.
Retail therapy.  I know what you’re thinking.  Shopaholic Mama is at it again with the emotional shopping.  Well, I needed it.  I found a sun dress at Macy’s on the clearance rack for $29.99 (original price was over $100!).  I bought it and I’m not returning it.  It was worth every penny and every ounce of guilt!
Dylan and Riley.  Despite the sporadic bouts of wrestling, hitting, screaming, and whining, the boys have been really good this week.  When Riley cries out for Daddy, Dylan tells him, “It’s okay, Riley.  Daddy will be home in a few days.  He loves you and misses you.”  And Riley.  He gives really good hugs and he’s slept until at least 6:30 every morning this week.  My boys are taking care of me as much as I’m taking care of them.
Finally, I need to give a shout out to Mike.  My globetrotting husband is working his butt off for us.  I may be a Single, Sick, Shopaholic Mama this week, but I’m a Grateful one, too.

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Filed under business travel, Grateful Mama, Shopaholic Mama, Sick Mama, Single Mama

March 21, 2011 · 7:24 pm

Miracles And Other Miscellaneous Things

It’s been a while since I’ve written and I have so much to say, so here’s a little bit about a lot of different things.

I spent spring break with my boys and all I got was… Well, nothing really.  But Riley coughed on me a lot so I imagine I’ll catch something by Thursday.
I’m proud of myself because… I discovered a way to put both boys to sleep.  At the same time.  In the middle of the day.  Without coercion or drugs.  If I keep them in the bike trailer long enough, they fall into a blissful nap.  The exercise is great, but the quiet time outside is priceless.
I love it when… Riley says “yes.”  His version is “esh.”  We can suddenly communicate about anything.  What he wants for lunch.  Which shirt he wants to wear.  Whether he wants to watch Dora or Diego.  What he thinks about 2012 presidential candidates.  It’s awesome.
I’m sick of hearing… “Stay home.”  Dylan has developed a habit of trying to stop everyone – and I mean everyone – from leaving by whining “stay home, stay home, stay home.”   He does it to me any chance he gets, and he does it to Mike every morning as he leaves for work.  He does it to strangers in the grocery store and waiters at restaurants.   He even did it to our exterminator last week!  Now Riley says it because Dylan says it, and Dylan says it like Riley says it (“nae hoe”) and I don’t know what to say about any of it, except…
The theme of this spring break was… Regression. Last year’s theme was potty training.  I think that was worse, but sibling rivalry is messy, too.  Let’s see, over the last nine days, we’ve had baby talk, pee accidents, running off in parking lots, talking to strangers, talking back, whining, pouting, arm crossing and lots of crying.  I’m referring to Dylan here, the boy who doesn’t want to grow up.  It’s been a tough week to put it mildly, and I don’t mean to leave Riley out.  He presents his own set of challenges, like refusing to nap and demanding finger painting at 5:30am.
A few bright spots of the week were… (1) Riley started sleeping past 5am when we changed the clocks.  [UPDATE:  Since initially writing this, Riley has gone back to his early bird ways.  We’ve been up at 5:30 every day since last Friday.] (2) Dylan put his empty plate on the kitchen counter yesterday after eating lunch.  He cleaned up after himself without being asked.  I nearly passed out.
The week ended with a bang when…Riley celebrated his second birthday.  I remember so clearly the morning he was born and the day we brought him home from the hospital.  I was drowning in love and fear, and I knew the next two years would be the hardest of my life.  They have been, but I’m humbled by the funny, stubborn, sweet and polite little boy he’s become.  Happy birthday to my little love.
And finally, miracles do happen.  For Riley’s birthday, we gave the kids bikes – a tricycle for Riley and a bike with training wheels for Dylan (to take the edge off the sibling rivalry).  Riley can’t pedal yet, but he rides around like Fred Flintstone on speed, and once Dylan got the hang of it, we couldn’t get him off his bike. On the bike = happy.  Off the bike = pouting, whining and arm crossing.  On = good.  Off = bad.  Like a light switch!  It was amazing, but that wasn’t the miracle.
On Sunday evening, Dylan asked all of us to go on a bike ride together.  (That alone was a small miracle because he asked us so politely.)  We put Fred Flintstone (Riley) in the bike trailer and Dylan, Mike and I rode our bikes around the block.  Two things happened along the way.  First, I realized we’ve become a family with two boys instead of two babies.  I had to catch my breath because suddenly I could feel time passing too quickly.  Second, I caught a glimpse of Dylan, with the wind blowing in his face, loving the independence of riding a bike all by himself alongside his Mommy, Daddy and little brother.  He was free.  I could feel it and I’m pretty sure he could, too.  That was the miracle – that he broke out of his rut and tasted the wonder and joy of growing up, even if it only lasted a few minutes.
As I sit here now, making the last edits to this blog entry, the boys are back at school and I’m in the house all by myself for the first time in nine long days.  That’s a little bit of a miracle, too.

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Filed under birthday, regression, spring break